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Weekend Box Office

Weekend Box Office: Resident Evil Is Much Better Than Everything Else Or Something

Quite why anyone goes to the cinema is beyond us. It’s a stupid place to go to. They play rubbish music in the foyer and they always smell like a mixture of detergent and ageing offal rotating in hotdogs that have developed a thin film of grease and bluebottle droppings. Yet still, people the world [...]

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The American Yankee Doodles Weekend Box Office

by Stuart Heritage

We… we don’t know how to say this. It seems so alien to us. So unusual. We’re scared and confused. So we’ll just say it. It’s Lindsay Lohan. She’s made a successful film. We know. Weird, isn’t, it? Lindsay Lohan made a film that people willingly gave up some of their money to see. Bizarre, [...]

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The Expendables Makes Weekend Box Office Smell Like Wee

by Stuart Heritage

Sylvester Stallone is back. And Dolph Lundgren is back. And Jet Li is back. And Jason Statham is back, so it’s not all good news. But they’re back. And it’s all thanks to The Expendables, the film where all the aforementioned action stars run around and shoot things and flex their muscles and reminisce about [...]

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Weekend Box Office: The Other Guys Is Better Than Inception

by Stuart Heritage

Inception has topped the weekend box office for so long that we were starting to wonder if anything could beat it.

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Weekend Box Office: Blah Blah Inception Blah Blah Blah

by Stuart Heritage

Yes, alright, Inception is quite good. Yes, people are watching it more than once to work it all out.

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Weekend Box Office: Inception Good, Salt Clearly Less Good

by Stuart Heritage

This week, the weekend box office was all about Inception vs Salt. The reigning champion vs the plucky underdog.

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Weekend Box Office: Twilight continues to be rubbish while Inception rules

Pah. You call Twilight a cult hit? It sniffed the top of the box office charts like a dog round an anus before tootling off to lick its own genitals. Yep, after a measly week, it limped off the top-spot in what I can only hope was a mass realisation that vampires are, in fact, rubbish.

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Weekend Box Office: Nobody Likes Twilight: Eclipse Any More

by Stuart Heritage

Well that didn’t last very long. There we were, bracing ourselves for Twilight: Eclipse’s months-long reign.

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Twilight: Eclipse Soaks Weekend Box Office In Urine

by Stuart Heritage

Oh, don’t pretend to be surprised. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is number one at the US weekend box office.

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Weekend Box Office: Plastic Gonks More Popular Than Tom Cruise

by Stuart Heritage

Hey everyone, ready for Tom Cruise’s big comeback? Sure you are. After all, you’ve been very patient so far.

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