Sylvester Stallone is back. And Dolph Lundgren is back. And Jet Li is back. And Jason Statham is back, so it's not all good news.
But they're back. And it's all thanks to The Expendables, the film where all the aforementioned action stars run around and shoot things and flex their muscles and reminisce about the old days and complain about young people and take cod liver oil capsules and worry that their children never call and make sure the batteries on their Saga SOS alarms are charged up and grimly wait for the cold hand of death, is the weekend box office number one.
It just goes to show that age ain't nothing but a number. A really big number, admittedly, and one that that directly corresponds to gradual loss of physical and cognitive ability, but whatever. Full US weekend box office top five after the jump…
1 – The Expendables (We can't wait for The Expendables 2, where Sylvester Stallone and friends are even older and have to travel around in a fleet of armoured mobility scooters. And The Expendables 3, where they're bedbound. And The Expendables 4, starring several piles of dust) $35,030,000
2 – Eat Pray Love (A film where Julia Roberts goes to India and samples the cuisine. If our experiences have been anything to go by, the film would have been better off titled Eat Puke Shit) $23,700,000
3 – The Other Guys (Sportsmen, news reporters, racing drivers, actors and now policemen – Will Ferrell can turn his hand to making films about hysterical manchildren from any profession in the world. we're especially looking forward to his film about the hilarious keycutter who also happens to be a hysterical manchild) $18,000,000
4 – Inception (Inception just gets cleverer and clever. Last week it emerged that if you speed the soundtrack up and play it backwards, you get a pitch-perfect version of Yes Sir I Can Boogie by Baccara. Incredible) $11,370,000
5 – Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (A disappointing weekend box office debut for a film that literally some people are calling ?quite good, but not as good as I expected to be honest?. A shame) $10,525,000
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