Posts tagged as:

the sun

Liam Gallagher Reveals Dislike Of Mumford & Sons’ Style In Unfortunate ‘Pot, Kettle, Black’ Incident

by Michael Park

Liam Gallagher, a man who facially resembles a cross between a Dickensian henchman and a brain damaged howler monkey, is well known for holding certain controversial views on the world around him. He’s the kind of gent that, if he were punch a GPS satellite out of the sky for ‘looking at him funny’, most [...]

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Diary of the Fearless Truth-Seekers: The Week in Tabloids- Eastenders Cot Death Story Controversy

by Si Sharp

That popular bogeyman, the BBC, has had to suffer the slings and arrows of British newspaper writers again over the last few weeks. It’s been very quiet since Christmas in tabloid-news terms. That doesn’t mean that there hasn’t been plenty of events  shaping the world- simply that there hasn’t been adequate stories to keep tabloid [...]

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Diary of the Fearless Truth-Seekers: The Week In Tabloids – Beckham vs Evil

by Si Sharp

It’s been quiet for the tabloids this week. Things have gotten so bad, they’ve been forced into covering politics! Admittedly their coverage of the Labour leadership has been more like the video for Two Tribes by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, but with Liam and Noel Gallagher cast as the cold war leaders. There was such [...]

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Amy Winehouse Died In Blake Fielder-Civil’s Arms (There’s a “Nearly” Missing From That Statement)

by Ian Dransfield

In a bold move to try and make people remember who he is, Blake Fielder-Civil has claimed Amy Winehouse died in his arms. The problems here are twofold: one – it’s only nearly died, thus removing most of the impact, and two – who the hell is Blake Fielder-Civil? Answers on a postcard please. Even [...]

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Sharon Osbourne Legally Not As Awful As You Thought

by Stuart Heritage

You might not like Sharon Osbourne – specifically her stupid haircut, weird face and ridiculous Skeletor voice.

And that’s fine. But even Sharon Osbourne has her limits. Cross them and she’ll sue your flipping bum off. That’s what Sharon Osbourne did to The Sun after it claimed she was working Ozzy Osbourne ‘to destruction’ to keep her rich, and she’s won a substantial payout from it.

So whatever you do, don’t say that Sharon Osbourne is trying to kill her husband with work. But feel free to laugh at her funny Skeletor voice. That’s probably OK. If it isn’t, we’re screwed.

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Katy Perry: Yeah, About That Whole Knife Thing…

by Stuart Heritage

Whether it’s by singing about kissing girls or by slightly looking a bit like a man, Katy Perry has never shied away from controversy.

And because of this affinity for controversy, Katy Perry is currently getting the hiding of her life. A couple of days ago The Sun published a photo of Katy Perry posing with a knife accompanied by a headline similar to but not exactly ‘BURN THE WITCH FOR SHE KNOWES MAGICK!’ and now all hell has broken loose.

So, with the sound of tabloid disapproval ringing in her ears, Katy Perry has released a statement saying that she is ‘against all violence’. Problem solved. Now The Sun can get back to the real threat to the nation’s youth – all those pictures of Katy Perry wearing 1940s swimsuits. Seriously, if we start seeing girls dressed as WWII cheesecake models in the street, we’re going to form a mob and burn Katy’s house down.

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Blake Will Pay You £20,000 To Make Doherty Bleed. Interested?

by hecklerspray staff

Blake Fielder-Civil, currently serving time in Pentonville prison, has allegedly offered another inmate £20,000 to beat up Pete Doherty, because he’s sure the singer is making love to his irresistibly impetigo wife, Amy Jade Winehouse Fielder-Civil. Twenty grand Blake?! Don’t be so fucking stupid. Hecklerspray will quite happily kick his drug-addled brain out for £3.50. [...]

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What? Amy Winehouse Is On Crack?!

by Stuart Heritage

So that’s why Amy Winehouse was so weird at her husband’s court appearance last week – she was off her face on all sorts of drugs.

Yes, drugs. It turns out, you see, that Amy Winehouse sometimes takes drugs. And sometimes, just sometimes, tabloid newspapers are there to secretly video it, like they were on Thursday night. The Sun caught Amy popping Valium, snorting lines of ecstasy powder and cocaine and, yes, honking on her crack pipe.

But the good news is that the drug binge didn’t give Amy Winehouse a near-death overdose experience again. So at least she’s getting better at it.

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