Posts tagged as:

Taylor Swift

Taylor Lautner Gets His Knickers In A Twist Over Taylor Swift

by Stuart Heritage

That’s presuming that Taylor Lautner wears knickers. He might not. He doesn’t really wear shirts very often.

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Taylor Lautner & Taylor Swift So Adorable It Makes Us Sick

by Stuart Heritage

This Taylor Lautner/ Taylor Swift thing is throwing up a lot of questions. Are they dating? Is it for real?

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Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner: Smoochy Smooch Kiss Kiss?

by Stuart Heritage

Are there two more famous teenagers in the world than Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner right now?

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Kanye West Cancels Tour, Possibly Because Beyonce’s Tour Is Better

by Stuart Heritage

If you enjoy paying to see odd men repeatedly bellow about how brilliant they are for two full hours, we have bad news.

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The VMA Conspiracy Theories Are Coming

by Amy Grindhouse

Rumours about what on Earth really caused the now infamous outburst at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards have started to surface. You probably know what actually happened onstage by now. The show’s been playing on a loop ever since, alongside witty commentary pointing out that grown men making young girls weepy is a rather [...]

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Kanye West & Taylor Swift Cruelly Refuse To Make It Stop

by Stuart Heritage

Stuff you, Michael Jackson! The biggest news story of the year isn’t your death any more – it’s Kanye West and Taylor Swift.

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MTV VMAs: Kanye West Buggers Everything Up, Again

by Stuart Heritage

Seriously, when will you people learn? It’s rule number one when it comes to organising awards shows, but you always ignore it.

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Taylor Swift Gets All Screechy About ‘Cheaty’ Camilla Belle

by Stuart Heritage

You may not have known who she was until yesterday, but Camilla Belle is basically a giganto-browed Angelina Jolie lite.

This is because the Joe Jonas/ Taylor Swift/ Camilla Belle triangle of pointlessness echoes the Jolie/ Pitt/ Aniston saga fairly closely. Admittedly this theory doesn’t hold up to scrutiny that well, because if Camilla Belle is Angelina Jolie then that makes her new boyfriend Joe Jonas Brad Pitt, and we all know that Joe Jonas looks too much like an anime lesbian for that to work.

However, Taylor Swift is definitely Jennifer Aniston in all of this, because she’s been gripped by a compulsion to publicly discuss her split from Joe Jonas as much as humanly possible. You see, Taylor Swift says that Camilla Belle stole Joe Jonas from her, and that he’d been cheating on her for months. Is it true? If we find one person who even slightly cares we swear we’ll tear off both our kneecaps.

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Joe Jonas Now Not Having Sex With Some Other Girl

by Stuart Heritage

For a boy who looks like a mutant hybrid between Sylar from Heroes and a drawing of a puppy, Joe Jonas seems to be a bit of a cad.

Just last week, country singer Taylor Swift was rushing around telling anyone who’d listen about what a git Joe Jonas was for dumping her during a 25-second phonecall. But already Joe Jonas has decided to move on and sow his wild oats elsewhere.

We mean that literally, too. Joe Jonas literally went out, bought a packet of wild oats and buried it in the ground. We didn’t mean ‘sow his wild oats’ in a sexual way. Joe Jonas is a virgin, remember. A virgin. Oh, and also, Joe Jonas might be banging that girl from 10,000 BC.

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Oh, And By The Way, Taylor Swift’s Pregnancy Is Impossible

by Stuart Heritage

As a teenage country singer, Taylor Swift is bound by convention to get pregnant as soon as possible – preferably by a member of her own family.

But don’t hold your breath. Following reports of her fury at being dumped by Joe Jonas recently, rumours quickly spread that Taylor Swift was in fact pregnant. But this isn’t the case at all, and Taylor Swift has publicly declared that it would be ‘impossible’ for her to be pregnant.

Of course it’s impossible. Look at the facts – Taylor Swift is a good, church-going Christian girl from the heartland of America who’s only just reached the legal age of consent and whose last known boyfriend is a self-confessed virgin. Of course it’s impossible for Taylor Swift to be pregnant. She’s obviously a man.

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