Articles tagged with: Star Wars
Star Wars, Star Wars, Star bloody sodding Wars. It's still everywhere, even though it's supposed to have finished and Lucas is supposed to be firmly locked in his ranch rolling about on his vast piles of money while dressed as Jar Jar sodding Binks.
But no, he just can't leave it alone. Sodding sod. There's the upcoming not-a-movie movie, the TV series (The Wire crossed with Star Wars?! Yes please, thanks) and the new videogame The Force Unleashed all on the horizon, and it's unlikely that things will slow down any time soon.
But what does all this talk do? Well, it reminds us of all the Star Wars crap we've had rammed down our throats for three decades. Specifically, it reminds us of Star Wars videogames and how mixed a bag they've managed to be over the years. Some have been that good that you can't help but immediately fornicate with the disc/cartridge/arcade machine (risky as the latter may be, with it being a public situation), whereas many more have been so bad it makes you wish Hitler had won.
People love Star Wars and Indiana Jones so much that George Lucas never has to have another original thought for the rest of his life.
And it's an offer he's been keen to exploit. This year George Lucas has a new Indiana Jones movie coming out and a new Star Wars movie coming out, plus he's got a 100-episode Star Wars TV show in the pipeline. And the time has come for George Lucas to spout off about all of this at once.
In a nutshell, then - George Lucas expects everyone to hate Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, doesn't really seem too fussed with the new Star Wars movie and has compared the TV show to The Wire. Yay! Possibly.
We've all moaned about the seemingly endless remakes being churned out by Hollywood these days.
Whether it's pointless shot-by-shot rehashes of Psycho or awful renditions of classic British films such as Get Carter and the Italian Job, it seems nothing is immune to Tinseltown's obsession with recycling. When was the last time producers in Hollywood had an original idea?
Well, hecklerspray has decided to help the ailing American movie monolith by coming up with 10 films they should remake. It hasn't been easy. A lot of films on the list we love. But we are a giving site and have decided to stick our heads on the block. So why do it? Well, like we said, most of the films listed are films we love. But maybe it's time we updated them. That could be for a variety of reasons. Some films started as great ideas but just ended up as a pile of shit, while others have dated badly and could be improved upon by the latest special effects techniques. There are also movies that could simply do with a bath and clean clothing.
Oh, there is one proviso. George Lucas cannot get his hands on any of them. Here goes:
We're going to need two helpers - one to tape up George Lucas while we hold him down, and another one to force a snooker ball into his mouth.
We're not violent people, but it looks like this might be the only way to stop George Lucas from making Star Wars movies. Three years after he promised that Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith would be the last Star Wars film, George Lucas has announced that an animated movie called Star Wars: The Clone Wars will be released in August.
Rubbish, we know - but at least Star Wars: The Clone Wars won't have Ewan McGregor in it, so you won't feel the urge to stand up, run down the aisle of the cinema and start smacking at the screens with your fists this time. Oh, who are we kidding, yes you will.
Everyone knows that sequels generally suck. Let's face it, the only reason Hollywood comes up with a second helping is to cash in on the success of the original.
Oh, and the fact that Hollywood hasn't come up with any original ideas for years. And when they do they want to make the most of it. But sometimes sequels can actually eclipse the original.
It's certainly rare. For every Godfather Part II there is a Speed 2, Ocean's 12 and Another 48 Hours waiting in the wings. For God's sake, this was going to be a a top 10, but we could only think of five.
But anyway, here goes:
Your dose of the good guys and the bad guys this week.Folded:
The new and improved iPod Nano (smaller, thinner, cheaper and brilliant. A perfect fit for your Christmas stocking)
Chubbies (no, not ‘a chubby’ – chubbies. Cute little things that ...
