Yesterday was great for death. Kim Jong-il (or, as some dumb American said, Kim Jong The Second) shrugged off his mortal coil while elsewhere, rumours floated around about various celebrity deaths!
One such rumour was Brian Harvey (not dead, but can’t be far off) and another was Jon Bon Jovi.
When Jon ‘Bon Jovi’ Bon Jovi heard about his untimely passing, he thought he’d redress the balance by letting everyone know that, regrettably, he was absolutely alive as can be. Alas, for a crime of Christmas in his past (for which we have a video), his death would have restored some balance in the force.
Overweight women and men wearing stained vests (or, if you prefer, fans of Bon Jovi) were left feeling pretty frantic yesterday when gossip reared up like a jaundiced horse, suggesting the star had suffered a cardiac arrest and passed away.
We were hoping to inherit his bizarrely uniform teeth.
However, his spokesperson who clearly doesn’t have much on at the minute, swiftly dismissed the reports while Jonny Bonny Jovington appeared to reassure us all that he was very much alive.
The singer posed for a picture holding a sign which read:
‘Heaven looks a lot like New Jersey Dec 19th 2011’
See for yourself.
However, his passing would have been a perfect Christmas present for all the festive periods he’s ruined with his awful, awful R2D2 We Wish You A Merry Christmas song.
Haven’t heard it? Start wishing death on Jonathon Bonathon Von Jovi right now.
Bryan says
I would rather spend three minutes listening to a circular saw cutting through sheet metal.
Tina says
that song was fricken cute..naw don’t wish death on the guy..that was very creatively cute!!!!!!
Micky Bananas says
Damn you HecklerSpray, will have to put my gravedancing shoes back in the wardrobe now!