Posts tagged as:

Scientology

Kirstie Alley And Her 2 Hours Of Sex Per Day Demands

by Mof Gimmers

What do we know about Kirstie Alley? Well, we know that her weight wildly fluctuates from ‘quite thin’ to ‘Type 2 Diabetes’. We also know that she was in Cheers. Oh, and she’s a weirdo Scientologist who believes in aliens and that. She’s an ‘Operating Thetan, Level 7′, whatever the shit that means. Now, the [...]

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Katie Holmes Does Not Stick Drugs Up Her, Just So We’re All Clear On That

by Mof Gimmers

Katie ‘towers over her mental husband’ Holmes does not take drugs. Okay? Can we just get that clear in our tiny little minds? She’s definitely not a drug addict. Absolutely, positively not a druggy mess. Okay? See, that’s the official line after Holmes settled a defamation claim with a US celebrity magazine over an article [...]

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Suri Cruise Performs Anarcho-Punk Act Of Guerilla Satire With A Bag Of Penises

by Justrestingmyeyes

Life’s got to be pretty damn dull when you’re a celebrity spawn. Once you’ve got used to the endless procession of uncles with big flashy cameras that Mummy is so fond of twirling about in front of, and the endless procession of nannies that Daddy keeps disappearing to the toilet with and making squeak like [...]

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Katie Holmes Sues Magazine For Telling Slightly More Lies Than Usual

by Amy Grindhouse

Katie Holmes is suing mad over Star Magazine telling filthy, filthy lies about her alleged drug addiction. That addiction, you know. The one where she’s addicted to Charlie Sheen, or something. We’re pretty sure at least one person in this story’s addicted to Charlie Sheen. The actress has filed a libel lawsuit in federal court [...]

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FBI To Investigate Scientology Folks Over Claims Over Human Trafficking And Slave Claims (Contains Jokes)

by Mof Gimmers

One thing that Scientologists fall back on in the face of criticism, is this statement: “Would you mock another religion like Judaism or Christianity?” In our case, we frequently do, so lets make with the sneering. Mentalist alien botherers over at the Church of Scientology are getting investigated by the FBI over some pretty serious [...]

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Ricky Gervais Has Been Asked To Insult Celebrities Again At The Golden Globes

by Mof Gimmers

Americans either have a sense of humour or, maybe, they just like the press they get from controversy (that could well explain Sarah Palin’s baffling rise in power). We say this because apparently, Ricky Gervais has been asked to host the Golden Globes again. Of course, you’ll remember that he upset some humourless dullards with [...]

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Ricky Gervais Defends His Golden Globes Routines, Even Though He Shouldn’t Have To You Humourless Chumps

by Mof Gimmers

Like we noted yesterday, America can occasionally forget what a sense of humour is, despite the fact they’ve produced some of the most acerbic comics in history and invented the notorious advent of the comedy roast. Yet, when on the receiving end of abuse from a British comedian, they can get a bit huffy and [...]

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Ricky Gervais Does Disappearing Act At Golden Globes As Hollywood Forgets What Jokes Are

by Mof Gimmers

The 68th annual Golden Globes happened last night and, once again, hecklerspray‘s invite was lost in the post despite having previous when it comes to getting hold of really pure cocaine for very competitive and good prices. Maybe we have to pretend to be Scientologists or something? Either way, we weren’t there, which means we [...]

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Are Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Splitting Up? Probably Not

by Kris Silver

Katie Holmes may well have finally escaped from the clutches of Tom Cruise, if reports in some glossy yank rag are to be believed. The Star is reporting that the Tomkat experience is over and no longer a thread to the rest of us with their weird placenta eating ways. You can’t really blame them for thinking [...]

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Juliette Lewis Has Been Hit By A Car. A Car That Probably Hates Scientology

by Mof Gimmers

Juliette Lewis is a strange lady isn’t she? She’s part actor, part singer in a rock band and, weirdest of all, not particularly attractive yet still quite fanciable. Sadly, she’s a Scientologist which means she’s dafter than a rucksack full of eye balls. To her list of achievements, you can now add ‘injured in a [...]

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