Articles tagged with: Prison
The Hulk Hogan Saga: Volume MCVII
Hulk Hogan really should stick to the things he knows get people on his side. Rip your flimsy vest off and expose us to your leathery pectorals, stomp around huffing and puffing and generally be unable to wrestle. That's the Hulk Hogan we know and love. Though, to be honest, that kind of behaviour has become embarrassing over the last decade or so. But one thing you shouldn't - you absolutely should not - do is to say that your son ruining the life of a friend through reckless driving is "God's will." Just as Hulk did the other day. Oops.
Hulk Hogan really should stick to the things he knows get people on his side. Rip your flimsy vest off and expose us to your leathery pectorals, stomp around huffing and puffing and generally be unable to wrestle. That's the Hulk Hogan we know and love. Though, to be honest, that kind of behaviour has become embarrassing over the last decade or so. But one thing you shouldn't - you absolutely should not - do is to say that your son ruining the life of a friend through reckless driving is "God's will." Just as Hulk did the other day. Oops.
Hogan Speaks Out On His Son, While His Wife Gets Off With a 19-Year-Old
This time last year Hulk Hogan was probably a very happy (and large) man. He had a wife, two kids, a huge house, a reality TV show, legions of adoring fans and an incredible moustache. Life was rosy for ol' Terry, king of the Legdrop of Doom. Then his prat of a son went and crashed his car while travelling at silly speeds, making a vegetable out of a good friend. Not content with ruining both his and his friend's lives, young Nick Bollea went on to be incarcerated and was placed in solitary. Obviously, the Hulkster wasn't too happy with this, but he kept up a brave front.
This time last year Hulk Hogan was probably a very happy (and large) man. He had a wife, two kids, a huge house, a reality TV show, legions of adoring fans and an incredible moustache. Life was rosy for ol' Terry, king of the Legdrop of Doom. Then his prat of a son went and crashed his car while travelling at silly speeds, making a vegetable out of a good friend. Not content with ruining both his and his friend's lives, young Nick Bollea went on to be incarcerated and was placed in solitary. Obviously, the Hulkster wasn't too happy with this, but he kept up a brave front.
Nick Bollea Loses Fight To Stop Being Fed Through Slots
Hulk Hogan's son Nick Bollea is having a string of rotten luck at the moment - car crashes, jail sentences, lawsuits, a startlingly mannish mother. Where will it end? The answer to that is in solitary confinement. Nick Bollea has seen his attempt to be moved out of solitary at Pinellas County Jail overturned by a judge, meaning that for the foreseeable future, all of Nick Bollea's meals will be fed to him through a slot in the door. But Nick Bollea will get no sympathy from us. Spending everyday stuck indoors alone? Craving human interaction of any kind? Forgetting what sunlight looks like? Trying hopelessly to entertain yourself just to pass the time? Eating crap food? Come on, that's practically what we do for a living.
Hulk Hogan's son Nick Bollea is having a string of rotten luck at the moment - car crashes, jail sentences, lawsuits, a startlingly mannish mother. Where will it end? The answer to that is in solitary confinement. Nick Bollea has seen his attempt to be moved out of solitary at Pinellas County Jail overturned by a judge, meaning that for the foreseeable future, all of Nick Bollea's meals will be fed to him through a slot in the door. But Nick Bollea will get no sympathy from us. Spending everyday stuck indoors alone? Craving human interaction of any kind? Forgetting what sunlight looks like? Trying hopelessly to entertain yourself just to pass the time? Eating crap food? Come on, that's practically what we do for a living.
Papoose Apparently Tries To Bust Remy Ma Out Of Prison
How many rap superstars have gone to prison in the past few years? 100? 200? Well we don’t have an exact count, but we heard that in Atlanta they make up more than half of the incarcerated population. Further rumor has it that while in there they all join together making beautiful music banging tin coffee cups on their cell bars and slapping out dope beats by smacking soap-on-a-rope into the bare bottoms of their cell mates. It's all melody they tell us. And on the chain gang they sing into their pickaxes. It’s just what we heard. Whatever stories you’ve heard about rappers in prison before – forget them. They pale in comparison to this one. That’s because this one involves Remy Ma getting smuggled a possible means of escape by her rhyme-loving groom.
How many rap superstars have gone to prison in the past few years? 100? 200? Well we don’t have an exact count, but we heard that in Atlanta they make up more than half of the incarcerated population. Further rumor has it that while in there they all join together making beautiful music banging tin coffee cups on their cell bars and slapping out dope beats by smacking soap-on-a-rope into the bare bottoms of their cell mates. It's all melody they tell us. And on the chain gang they sing into their pickaxes. It’s just what we heard. Whatever stories you’ve heard about rappers in prison before – forget them. They pale in comparison to this one. That’s because this one involves Remy Ma getting smuggled a possible means of escape by her rhyme-loving groom.
Pete Doherty Released From Jail 70 Days Early
Pete Doherty's prison adventure has been cut dramatically short - not by a horrific stabbing injury as some had hoped, but by early release. Released less than a month into his 14-week jail sentence, Pete Doherty is now a free man once again, much like Ronnie Barker from Going Straight except a bit less funny and/or dead. Still, even 29 days in jail is long enough for someone to become institutionalised, which means in the next few days you might see pictures of Pete Doherty stumbling around looking a bit confused and unwashed. Don't worry if you do - it means he's completely back to normal. Thanks folks, we're here all week.
Pete Doherty's prison adventure has been cut dramatically short - not by a horrific stabbing injury as some had hoped, but by early release. Released less than a month into his 14-week jail sentence, Pete Doherty is now a free man once again, much like Ronnie Barker from Going Straight except a bit less funny and/or dead. Still, even 29 days in jail is long enough for someone to become institutionalised, which means in the next few days you might see pictures of Pete Doherty stumbling around looking a bit confused and unwashed. Don't worry if you do - it means he's completely back to normal. Thanks folks, we're here all week.
Is Peaches Geldof Going To Jail? Probably Not.
Peaches Geldof has been filmed handing over money to a pair of notorious drug dealers and is to be investigated by the police. Nineteen-year-old Peaches was secretly filmed offering Jonny Blagrove and Cara Burton £140 in return for some unspecified goods. Then Blagrove, ‘dealer to the stars’, tells Peaches what she wants will actually cost her £190. The extra £50 quid doesn’t deter Peaches, she is after all the daughter of modern day Jesus, Bob Geldof, and it’s good to see the royalties from I don’t like Mondays aren’t going to waste. Peaches is then reportedly recorded saying: I'm going to need Valium tomorrow after this.
Peaches Geldof has been filmed handing over money to a pair of notorious drug dealers and is to be investigated by the police. Nineteen-year-old Peaches was secretly filmed offering Jonny Blagrove and Cara Burton £140 in return for some unspecified goods. Then Blagrove, ‘dealer to the stars’, tells Peaches what she wants will actually cost her £190. The extra £50 quid doesn’t deter Peaches, she is after all the daughter of modern day Jesus, Bob Geldof, and it’s good to see the royalties from I don’t like Mondays aren’t going to waste. Peaches is then reportedly recorded saying: I'm going to need Valium tomorrow after this.
Pete Doherty’s Not Back On Heroin After All! Wheee!
Aside from getting rubbish tattoos and befriending injured birds to act as symbolic allusions to your lost freedom, there's not actually a lot to do in prison. So it's weird that, since Pete Doherty went to prison a couple of weeks ago, we've heard far more about him than when he was a free man. Namely, we've heard an awful lot about how Pete Doherty has somehow managed to track down a load of heroin in prison and stick it all up his bum, or whatever it is you're supposed to do with heroin. But it turns out that these heroin stories were all giant lies, because Pete Doherty is completely free of drugs. We know this because Pete Doherty said so himself in a barely-legible note to a woman we've never heard of. And, as we've always said, you can put scrawled notes by convicted drug addicts in the bank.
Aside from getting rubbish tattoos and befriending injured birds to act as symbolic allusions to your lost freedom, there's not actually a lot to do in prison. So it's weird that, since Pete Doherty went to prison a couple of weeks ago, we've heard far more about him than when he was a free man. Namely, we've heard an awful lot about how Pete Doherty has somehow managed to track down a load of heroin in prison and stick it all up his bum, or whatever it is you're supposed to do with heroin. But it turns out that these heroin stories were all giant lies, because Pete Doherty is completely free of drugs. We know this because Pete Doherty said so himself in a barely-legible note to a woman we've never heard of. And, as we've always said, you can put scrawled notes by convicted drug addicts in the bank.
Report: Pete Doherty’s On The Skag Again
Oh christ, here we go again. Before he was jailed, we thought that Pete Doherty had kicked the drugs. His ballooning weight suggested that he'd either got his appetite back or he'd found a brand-new drug that was mostly made of congealed chip fat. Either way, Pete Doherty was off the drugs and it was a relief. Except he wasn't - according to reports, Pete Doherty is back taking all the heroin he can get his hands on in prison. That's a report that comes from a prisoner, so it must be true, because everyone knows that prisoners are the nicest, most honest group of people in the world.
Oh christ, here we go again. Before he was jailed, we thought that Pete Doherty had kicked the drugs. His ballooning weight suggested that he'd either got his appetite back or he'd found a brand-new drug that was mostly made of congealed chip fat. Either way, Pete Doherty was off the drugs and it was a relief. Except he wasn't - according to reports, Pete Doherty is back taking all the heroin he can get his hands on in prison. That's a report that comes from a prisoner, so it must be true, because everyone knows that prisoners are the nicest, most honest group of people in the world.
