Good ol’ Lindsay Lohan. She’s spectacularly hapless isn’t she? You could leave her on an infinitely smooth surface, devoid of any life and, somehow, she’d still end up getting arrested with illegal articles about her person.
She’s a godsend for pondscum like us.
And now, tremendously, she’s threatening to kill people and missing $10,000 from a Chanel purse because, no matter how hard she tries, she simply can’t avoid melodrama and vague trouble. Still, at least we can all gawp at her leaked Playboy nudes, right?
See, LiLo was left irked after her purse got pinched. In leaked audio footage, the Mean Girls actress (we have to keep saying ‘Mean Girls star’ because she’s really done nothing of note since then) can be heard spitting that she’ll “f**king kill someone” if it means she has to go back to jail.
Basically, her passport, some documents and ID was swiped in her hideously expensive bag, which meant that she wouldn’t have been able to get back to Los Angeles in time for her next court date.
That could’ve meant a judge sending her to the slammer.
During the clip obtained by TMZ, Lindsay can be heard saying:
“This is not good. I will f**king kill someone if I even have to get questioned.”
Alas, her bag was eventually recovered along with her documents. Smartly, whoever stole the bag managed to keep a tidy $10,000 for themselves. Nice job Thiefo.
And while all this was going on, the rest of the world was ogling LiLo’s leaked Playboy nudes, which marvellously means that no-one needs to buy a copy now.
Who wants to buy actual magazines these days when you have brilliant sites like this to yoink all the good stuff for you, eh?
Have a look. And no, they are totally not safe to view at work. Or NSFW if you’ve been skim reading.
Images found here. They have more photographs too. Go sue them if you have a problem. Thanks.
JoeMomma says
Questions:
1) Why are they trying to make her look like Marilyn Monroe?
2) How many hours of Photoshop did some poor shlep put in for this?
3) How bad is her skin if they had to blow out all the mid-tones?
Eugene says
4) Where did all her tatoos go?
5) Given that everyone that wants to (and has internet access) has already seen Lilo naked, why does anyone care about her appearing in Playboy?
…And an answer for #2 — a LOT
jen says
Lindsay lohan has sprialled into the mess that Marilyn had become herself. If anyone shsould personify marilyn it would be her. No one ever realizes it till the celebrity dies (because of the stress we impose on them), and then theyre immortalized and loved forever as an Icon. Fame and the media turn these stars into psychological catastrophes, and then there are people like us who watch it, laugh, and feel that they have money, so they should have no problems. In Marilyn’s day, she didnt have her whole life and every feeling she ever had exposed to the world, how can no one sympthasize with the stressful life that lindsay has had to endure.
Drugs can ruin someone, but they can also provide the relief needed to go on..