
Kim Kardashian is a very private girl, remember? She doesn’t like to share too much of her private life unless it’s the day of her wedding or the rest of her life through her twitter account and reality TV programme.
Other than that, she’s a very secretive, private girl.
And now, she’s sending pictures of herself out online in a state of undress, without any makeup on and invariably fishing for compliments like those girls who pose in their bra, tweet it, and sigh “I’m so fat” or “I’m feeling pretty ugly today guys”, only to be flooded with fished-for compliments from sad men and kindly, envious women. Anyway, shall we get on with looking at the picture?
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Wasn’t it fantastic leaping from roof to roof in Constantinople? Diving from high towers into the river, only to miss and fall into a broken heap, slowly soiling yourself until you died alone and weeping?
It was the stuff of movies, if those movies had troubling control mechanisms and some rather heavy looking armour. Well that’s what Assassin’s Creed: Revelations was all about. What it also did, was to bring the story of Altair and Ezio Auditore to a vague kind of conclusion ready for whatever Ubisoft gave us in the next installment.
Well good news everyone who’s still interested! Assassin’s Creed 3 has officially been given a release date. Of October 30th 2012. A full 10 months away. But apart from the title, and the date, what else do we know?
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You may remember him from Home Alone and Uncle Buck, but there’s much more to Macaulay Culkin than those two films. Actually, now you mention it, there isn’t. That’s all he’s ever done. Ever.
Okay, that’s not really true either.
The other thing Culkin is famed for is the fact he had the temerity to grow older and develop into an increasingly less-cute thing on its hind legs. He basically went from adorable and annoying, to forgettable and hideous. HOWEVER! He’s back in the news and people are pointing at his cheek bones and gurgling at how appallingly thin he is… and yes, we’ve got the pictures.
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Lindsay Lohan stepped out on the red carpet this week looking as young, sexy and stylish as ever. Wait, we mean the exact opposite of that.
The o/b/v/i/o/u/s/c/r/a/c/k/a/d/d/i/c/t starlet was papped at the amfAR New York Gala yesterday sporting tobacco-stained hair, meth teeth and accessorised her hot new look with a Grinch-skin coat and a vacant stare.
Want a look? You brave crusader, you. Just click the jump.
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Worrying reports are beginning to reach the hecklerspray news desk of spontaneous combustion among children.
Reports so far are sketchy but it is thought that the exact demographic affected is girls & boys between the ages of 11 & 17. Parents are being advised to keep their children away from the internet for the foreseeable future to limit the risk of catastrophic explosion.
Experts have warning that if the spread of these fiery paroxysms isn’t stemmed immediately, it could lead to a cataclysmic chain reaction that could- if predictions are accurate- wipe out all human life on the planet, leaving Earth in the paws of Dormice.
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Lindsay Lohan isn’t as much fun as she used to be. Remember when she was constantly full of drink and drugs, having sex with everyone, stealing jewels and getting accused of assault and battery? Those were good days.
Sadly, she seems to have straightened herself out… BUT WAIT!
See, LiLo has been doing her community service, hauling her speckled self around a morgue! Ostensibly, Judge Stephanie Sautner wants her to fix herself by warping her mind with dead bodies. Get the feeling that we’ll be seeing good ol’ Insane Lohan again in the future?
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Where there’s blame, there’s a claim… right? Well, in the case of paparazzi photographer and presumed harassing scum-ventricle, Grigor Baylan, he’s suing Lindsay Lohan for something she didn’t actually do for once.
Our papping chum is taking legal action against the actress after he found himself being run over by a motor car that was trying to get away from… you guessed it! The paparazzo.
And the best bit is – LiLo wasn’t even driving the car!
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Lindsay Lohan wants you to know that she’s a moron. That’s the only possible reason why she emerged from a tattoo parlour this week permanently marked with the phrase: Live Without Regrets.
The starlet drunken car crash is said to have told pals that she’s ‘at a great point in her life and wanted to do something she’d always remember’.
Who wouldn’t want to remember the first second third time they got their vag out for the public? At least this time it was sponsored by Playboy and not 12 Jagerbombs and an hour in the powder rooms
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