Articles tagged with: photos
The Inevitable Saucy Prince William, Kate Middleton Photos Mercifully Not Released
Famous people never learn which is perhaps why we love them ever so dearly. They never learn that you never take scandalous pictures and/or video with your significant other and expect them to remain safely under wraps. The most recent example of such folly is Prince William. Stolen photos of him and his little strumpet Kate Middleton were this close to being published before the photos were turned into the police. And as such, we thankfully can now put away this bleach we had on hand in case we viewed the photos and needed to sterilise our eyes.
Famous people never learn which is perhaps why we love them ever so dearly. They never learn that you never take scandalous pictures and/or video with your significant other and expect them to remain safely under wraps. The most recent example of such folly is Prince William. Stolen photos of him and his little strumpet Kate Middleton were this close to being published before the photos were turned into the police. And as such, we thankfully can now put away this bleach we had on hand in case we viewed the photos and needed to sterilise our eyes.
Brad Pitt Throws Furious Giganto-Strop Over Secret Baby Photos
You're probably wondering what Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's new twins look like, because you're nosy and have nothing better to do. But you mustn't. You mustn't look at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's babies - especially if you're looking at the paparazzi photos secretly taken with a high-powered telephoto lens that were recently taken. Look at those and Brad Pitt will sue your sweaty loner arse all the way to the moon and back. He's said so himself. But don't get the wrong idea - Brad Pitt isn't going to unusually strong legal measures to protect the privacy of his family. He's doing it to protect you. Those babies are so genetically perfect that if you even glance at them you'll instantly leave your wife because their beauty will show her up to be the ugly old trollop that she really is.
You're probably wondering what Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's new twins look like, because you're nosy and have nothing better to do. But you mustn't. You mustn't look at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's babies - especially if you're looking at the paparazzi photos secretly taken with a high-powered telephoto lens that were recently taken. Look at those and Brad Pitt will sue your sweaty loner arse all the way to the moon and back. He's said so himself. But don't get the wrong idea - Brad Pitt isn't going to unusually strong legal measures to protect the privacy of his family. He's doing it to protect you. Those babies are so genetically perfect that if you even glance at them you'll instantly leave your wife because their beauty will show her up to be the ugly old trollop that she really is.
Jessica Alba Shows Off Her Unusually Hairy Baby
Things we've learnt today, number 14 - Jessica Alba has an unusually dominant hairiness gene. She must have, because Jessica Alba is on the cover of this week's OK! magazine with her new baby daughter Honor Marie and we'll be blowed if Alba Jr doesn't have the fullest head of hair we've ever seen on any single living creature ever. It's astounding. At least, we're assuming that Jessica Alba's daughter has a thick head of hair. For all we know it could be a wig covering up for the time when Honor Marie went out, got drunk and had 'I hated The Love Guru' tattooed across her bald scalp deliberately to try and spite Jessica Alba and sabotage her big-money covershoot. In fact, screw it, let's just say that's what happened anyway.
Things we've learnt today, number 14 - Jessica Alba has an unusually dominant hairiness gene. She must have, because Jessica Alba is on the cover of this week's OK! magazine with her new baby daughter Honor Marie and we'll be blowed if Alba Jr doesn't have the fullest head of hair we've ever seen on any single living creature ever. It's astounding. At least, we're assuming that Jessica Alba's daughter has a thick head of hair. For all we know it could be a wig covering up for the time when Honor Marie went out, got drunk and had 'I hated The Love Guru' tattooed across her bald scalp deliberately to try and spite Jessica Alba and sabotage her big-money covershoot. In fact, screw it, let's just say that's what happened anyway.
Miley Cyrus: The Inevitable Wet T-Shirt Photos
Miley Cyrus is everywhere - TV, movie, magazines, record stores - so you'd expect that the girl would like a bit of privacy now and then. Tish tosh, people, nothing of the sort. In fact, not even Miley Cyrus' constant media saturation is enough for her - which is why she appears to be chronicling her entire life with photographs in an incredibly regimented way. Even the part of her life that involves posing in the shower in just a wet white T-shirt. That's right - photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus standing under a shower in just a wet T-shirt have been doing the internet rounds. It's about the 15th set of embarrassingly provocative photos that Miley Cyrus has had to deal with, but it's by no means the worst - rumour has it there's a candid snap somewhere of Miley enjoying and dancing to her father's song Achy Breaky Heart. That'd just finish her career instantly.
Miley Cyrus is everywhere - TV, movie, magazines, record stores - so you'd expect that the girl would like a bit of privacy now and then. Tish tosh, people, nothing of the sort. In fact, not even Miley Cyrus' constant media saturation is enough for her - which is why she appears to be chronicling her entire life with photographs in an incredibly regimented way. Even the part of her life that involves posing in the shower in just a wet white T-shirt. That's right - photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus standing under a shower in just a wet T-shirt have been doing the internet rounds. It's about the 15th set of embarrassingly provocative photos that Miley Cyrus has had to deal with, but it's by no means the worst - rumour has it there's a candid snap somewhere of Miley enjoying and dancing to her father's song Achy Breaky Heart. That'd just finish her career instantly.
Disney To Miley Cyrus: Back To Work, Paedo-Bait
Ever since she posed for those provocative sort-of topless underage Vanity Fair photos, Miley Cyrus has left her wholesome tween image far behind. But try telling that to Disney. Even though she seems more comfortable these days posing vulnerably under satin sheets and draping herself over her father's lap in an uncomfortably sexual way, Miley Cyrus is still one of Disney's biggest cash cows. And that's why the corporation has refused to scrap Miley's upcoming concert set for Saturday. However, in a nod to the effect of the scandal and her new audience, Disney has staged a last-minute change of venue for the concert. Now, instead of performing at the sun-dappled Disney World Resort in Orlando, Miley Cyrus will be appearing at a grotty underground basement in front of an audience comprised soley of raincoat-wearing middle-aged, yellow-eyed, nicotine-stained Frenchmen.
Ever since she posed for those provocative sort-of topless underage Vanity Fair photos, Miley Cyrus has left her wholesome tween image far behind. But try telling that to Disney. Even though she seems more comfortable these days posing vulnerably under satin sheets and draping herself over her father's lap in an uncomfortably sexual way, Miley Cyrus is still one of Disney's biggest cash cows. And that's why the corporation has refused to scrap Miley's upcoming concert set for Saturday. However, in a nod to the effect of the scandal and her new audience, Disney has staged a last-minute change of venue for the concert. Now, instead of performing at the sun-dappled Disney World Resort in Orlando, Miley Cyrus will be appearing at a grotty underground basement in front of an audience comprised soley of raincoat-wearing middle-aged, yellow-eyed, nicotine-stained Frenchmen.
Annie Leibovitz Says Sorry About Miley Cyrus, Sort Of
There's an angry mob forming over those 'topless' Miley Cyrus pictures in Vanity Fair - but the question is, whose house shall we burn down first? We can't burn down Miley Cyrus' house because she's already apologised to her fans and blamed all the evil grown-ups for exploiting her - so that just leaves Annie Leibovitz, the woman who took the photos of Miley Cyrus in the first place. Let's get her! Except we can't, because Annie Leibovitz has apologised for the Miley Cyrus photos as well. OK, maybe 'apologised' is a strong word - instead Annie Leibovitz has called everyone stupid for not appreciating the beauty of her art, but she phrased it like an apology. An apology that we accept. We think. Oh, we're so confused. Let's burn down the camera factories!
There's an angry mob forming over those 'topless' Miley Cyrus pictures in Vanity Fair - but the question is, whose house shall we burn down first? We can't burn down Miley Cyrus' house because she's already apologised to her fans and blamed all the evil grown-ups for exploiting her - so that just leaves Annie Leibovitz, the woman who took the photos of Miley Cyrus in the first place. Let's get her! Except we can't, because Annie Leibovitz has apologised for the Miley Cyrus photos as well. OK, maybe 'apologised' is a strong word - instead Annie Leibovitz has called everyone stupid for not appreciating the beauty of her art, but she phrased it like an apology. An apology that we accept. We think. Oh, we're so confused. Let's burn down the camera factories!
Miley Cyrus Topless Photo: The Dim-Witted Apology
Paedophile wish-fulfillment tweenbot Miley Cyrus is at it again - and this time her 15-year-old breasts are coming along for the ride too. As if the recent internet photos of Miley Cyrus whipping her bra out around rolling on a boy's lap in her underwear weren't enough, now the web is abuzz with a brand new picture - a picture that shows Miley Cyrus completely topless, or at least as topless as you can be when you're covered in a blanket. And what's more, this topless Miley Cyrus photo was taken for well-known spank rag Vanity Fair by that filthy pornographer Annie Leibovitz. OK, so what actually happened was that one of the world's most famous photographers took a picture of Miley Cyrus that isn't really very naked in the slightest. But, hey, that hasn't stopped Miley Cyrus from apologising for it, the stupid teenage twit.
Paedophile wish-fulfillment tweenbot Miley Cyrus is at it again - and this time her 15-year-old breasts are coming along for the ride too. As if the recent internet photos of Miley Cyrus whipping her bra out around rolling on a boy's lap in her underwear weren't enough, now the web is abuzz with a brand new picture - a picture that shows Miley Cyrus completely topless, or at least as topless as you can be when you're covered in a blanket. And what's more, this topless Miley Cyrus photo was taken for well-known spank rag Vanity Fair by that filthy pornographer Annie Leibovitz. OK, so what actually happened was that one of the world's most famous photographers took a picture of Miley Cyrus that isn't really very naked in the slightest. But, hey, that hasn't stopped Miley Cyrus from apologising for it, the stupid teenage twit.
Inevitable Miley Cyrus Underwear Pictures Finally Hit Web
Oh come on, mucky internet Miley Cyrus pictures were always an inevitability - she's both a tween star and a country singer's daughter, for god's sake. So don't act all surprised now that a set of photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus yanking down her top to show off her bra and rolling around on a boy's lap in just her underwear have emerged. And don't act all alarmed either - although admittedly it's not perfect role model behaviour, Miley Cyrus is a normal teenage girl, and this is what all normal teenage girls do. Wait, no, actually that's wrong - what we meant to say there was that this is what all normal teenage girls do in the minds of creepy old yellow-toothed men who hang around school gates at playtime and faintly smell of stale semen. But that's close enough. Congratulations Miley Cyrus! You're living the dream!
Oh come on, mucky internet Miley Cyrus pictures were always an inevitability - she's both a tween star and a country singer's daughter, for god's sake. So don't act all surprised now that a set of photos of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus yanking down her top to show off her bra and rolling around on a boy's lap in just her underwear have emerged. And don't act all alarmed either - although admittedly it's not perfect role model behaviour, Miley Cyrus is a normal teenage girl, and this is what all normal teenage girls do. Wait, no, actually that's wrong - what we meant to say there was that this is what all normal teenage girls do in the minds of creepy old yellow-toothed men who hang around school gates at playtime and faintly smell of stale semen. But that's close enough. Congratulations Miley Cyrus! You're living the dream!
