You’re probably wondering what Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s new twins look like, because you’re nosy and have nothing better to do.
But you mustn’t. You mustn’t look at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s babies – especially if you’re looking at the paparazzi photos secretly taken with a high-powered telephoto lens that were recently taken. Look at those and Brad Pitt will sue your sweaty loner arse all the way to the moon and back. He’s said so himself.
But don’t get the wrong idea – Brad Pitt isn’t going to unusually strong legal measures to protect the privacy of his family. He’s doing it to protect you. Those babies are so genetically perfect that if you even glance at them you’ll instantly leave your wife because their beauty will show her up to be the ugly old trollop that she really is.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s new twins Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon have really captured the world’s imagination since they were born earlier this month. They’re rich, they’re famous, they’re a little bit French and they’re probably the focus of up to eight or nine separate opportunistic kidnapping plots. What’s not to love?
Well, how about the fact that we don’t know what they bloody look like for starters? For all we know Vivienne Marcheline has a hand for a nose and Knox Leon looks like a giant boggle-eyed manatee.
Some brave members of the paparazzi have been trying to help us all out, though, by secretly sneaking into Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s French estate and taking pictures without anyone finding out. These gallant photographers deserve our praise on two counts, firstly because Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie enjoy kicking the paparazzi’s arse whenever they can, and secondly because it’s probably a bit illegal.
However, don’t start getting excited by the prospect of any Brad Pitt/ Angelina Jolie baby action just yet, because Brad has caught wind of these secretly-taken photos, and he’s just about ready to shit out an aneurysm about it. E! Online reports:
The actor’s attorney is threatening legal action against any media outlet that publishes photos snapped “surreptitiously” of Pitt, Angelina Jolie and their family, including new twins Knox and Vivienne, on the grounds of their French estate. “The taking of the Photos constitutes a malicious violation of Mr. Pitt’s privacy, including under the laws of California and France,” the attorney says.
We have to admit that we’re a little bit outraged by Brad Pitt’s threats to sue anyone who prints photos of his babies.
True, the photos do probably constitute a serious breach of privacy, and as a result Brad and Angelina will live the rest of their lives in a paranoid fug of hounded terror, but isn’t it every human’s right to be able to glance at a picture of a famous baby, mumble about it only looking like a sodding baby and forget about it instantly?
Apparently not. And anyway, it is Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s right to keep the identity of their new babies a secret, not just because of the obvious security threat but because the children haven’t asked to be photographed. They’re just unconsenting pawns in all of this, and it’d be unfair to take advantage otherwise. It’s not like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie plan to sell photos of the twins to the highest bidder, is it?
Oh wait…
MrPopularity says
Brad’s a hippocrit. He and Angelina have sold their children’s pictures for money before and whether they have used that money for donations to a charity is irrelevant. Brad and Angelina by their own actions promote this type of behavior. Privacy ha, does anyone have privacy anymore, 1984 – Big Brother is always watching even the gov’t spies on us admittedly. Wuss why doesn’t he just hide inside his million dollar home or buy an island, rich cry baby. Power monger. By the way, he is so whipped by Angelina. He absolutely has no balls anymore that’s why he has to artificially insemenate his woman.
media boy says
i just noticed that Brangelina consistently come up with some original names for their kids