It's well known that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie love every single living organism on the face of the earth. Except Jennifer Aniston, obviously, and any living organism that happens to have a camera around their neck.
That's what a British photographer is claiming, anyway. Sam Relph says that he was threatened by one of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's bodyguards – who was filmed grabbing Relph around the neck – and now he's thinking about taking legal action against Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Not because of this alleged assault, you realise, but because Sam Relph just thinks that Mr & Mrs Smith was so crap that it should actually become illegal.
For 98% of people, the world changed for the better when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie got together. Fans of aesthetics could rest safe in the knowledge that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were the most beautiful family on earth, fans of humanitarian causes were cheered by Brad Pitt's dedication towards rebuilding New Orleans and people who liked to buy shit just because they saw it on the front of a magazine can rejoice at the general clothes-horsiness of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.
However, the remaining 2% of people only see the union of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as a terrible dark curtain that's been swept over their lives. Those 2% are the paparazzi. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's immense dislike of the paparazzi is well-known – in the past Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have tried to get a photographer charged for standing in a bush, had another photographer arrested in Namibia twice and actually called in the American secret service because someone might have put a picture of them on the internet. And now the bodyguards of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are being accused of assaulting a photographer, too.
As you probably all know, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in India filming a movie about Daniel Pearl's widow, and it's kicked off a flurry of intense media attention. That's where Sam Relph steps in – he's claiming that a bodyguard belonging to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie threatened him, and is now threatening legal action himself. BBC News reports:
The unnamed bodyguard was filmed grabbing the British photographer, Sam Relph, by the throat. Mr Relph said the action was completely unnecessary, and was looking at taking further action. He added: "I am a guest at this hotel, I have every right to be here. "It would be disrespectful to take pictures inside the hotel, I know they don't like that but I was outside anyway, doing my job like everybody else." Two Indian journalists also complained that they too had been threatened by the same security guard, the AP news agency reported.
Needless to say, it doesn't need pointing out that apparently assaulting a photographer while making a film about the freedom of the press is a big PR mishap. The only way to put it right, really, is for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to make their next movie about a crack husband and wife paparazzi team who somehow manage to save the world by taking lots of photos of grumpy celebrities walking out of restaurants.
Oh come on, it couldn't be any worse than Troy.
Read more:
Pitt bodyguard in 'assault' row – BBC
[story by Stuart Heritage]