There's an old saying round these parts that goes: trespass on private property trying to get a sneaky photo of Angelina Jolie's bloated pregnant belly once, shame on you; trespass on private property trying to get a sneaky photo of Angelina Jolie's bloated pregnant belly, shame on, um, you. Again.
Someone that needs to be told that saying is John Liebenberg. He's already spent a weekend in a Namibian jail for trespassing while trying to get an exclusive Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie picture but, just days after he was released, he's been arrested again for the very same thing.
It goes without saying that the birth of the Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt child is highly anticipated. There's just about every likelihood that the Pitt-Jolie baby will be so beautiful that human eyes will shrivel and wilt into pellets as soon as they fall upon it, and that it will eventually grow older to become the charismatic leader in a war between humans and faulty military attack robots. But for now, people just really, really want to take a picture of Angelina Jolie's fat belly.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have already sold the as-yet unborn baby pictures to a magazine, but that isn't stopping snappers from invading Namibia and crawling all over the place trying to get a half-decent picture of Brad or Angelina. And most notorious of all is John Liebenberg. Liebenberg is the South African photographer who was banged up over the weekend for trying to take a picture of a private hospital from the illegal vantage point of a Namibian police barracks.
Just a few days ago, a Namibian judge threw John Liebenberg's case out, calling his jail time "unnecessary," but it doesn't look as if the message has sunk in – once released, Liebenberg hit the Jolie-Pitt trail again with such vigour that he's been arrested again, for apparently straying onto private property in order to try and snap Angelina Jolie's group, who were relaxing at a beach bar. Liebenberg claims that he was still on public territory when he was busted. He's been ordered to appear in court on Friday, where prosecutors say he will face either a fine of 1,000 Namibian dollars (about £75) or a year in jail.
Meanwhile, speculation is growing about what Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby will look like. Here's a clue, based on years of painstaking research into infant genealogy: it'll look like a fucking baby. Now shut up.
[story by Stuart Heritage]