Disney To Miley Cyrus: Back To Work, Paedo-Bait

Ever since she posed for those provocative sort-of topless underage Vanity Fair photos, Miley Cyrus has left her wholesome tween image far behind.

But try telling that to Disney. Even though she seems more comfortable these days posing vulnerably under satin sheets and draping herself over her father’s lap in an uncomfortably sexual way, Miley Cyrus is still one of Disney’s biggest cash cows. And that’s why the corporation has refused to scrap Miley’s upcoming concert set for Saturday.

However, in a nod to the effect of the scandal and her new audience, Disney has staged a last-minute change of venue for the concert. Now, instead of performing at the sun-dappled Disney World Resort in Orlando, Miley Cyrus will be appearing at a grotty underground basement in front of an audience comprised soley of raincoat-wearing middle-aged, yellow-eyed, nicotine-stained Frenchmen.

Miley Cyrus has been at the centre of a gigantic shitstorm this week. Those not-quite topless Miley Cyrus photos in Vanity Fair have been perhaps the most controversial photos published since those regrettable hecklerspray/ strap-on/ farmyard animal/ nun/ cheesecake snaps of 2004.

The fallout from the Miley Cyrus topless photo scandal has been so red-hot that it’s been inescapable. Photographer Annie Leibovitz has been blamed, Miley Cyrus’ parents have been blamed, the news media has endlessly discussed the fine line between art and manipulation of children, and it’s meant that we’ve all had plenty of chances to see what Miley Cyrus looks like with her top off whether we want to or not.

But one thing’s for certain. Long gone is the old Miley Cyrus, the Miley Cyrus who’d sell a billion records with her fresh-faced wholesome grin and fortunate inability to get pregnant. And in her place is a brand-new, all grown-up Miley Cyrus who isn’t afraid to explore her sexuality in public even though she’s legally not allowed to be sexually active at all until November 2010.

But tell that to Disney. To Disney, Miley Cyrus is the big-eyed redneck face of Hannah Montana who makes them enough money to keep their diamond-encrusted jetski practice pools topped up with fresh unicorn tears all the time.

It doesn’t matter that the wheels are already starting to fall off the Miley Cyrus train, and that this topless photo scandal looks set to destroy Miley’s career for good. If anything, it just means that Miley Cyrus needs to work twice as hard to make Disney as much money as possible before she becomes just another washed up former child star. And that’s why Disney is still wheeling Miley Cyrus out to Disney World this weekend to sing and dance like a monkey on Saturday. E! Online reports:

E! News has confirmed that the 15-year-old, who has been working in Nashville this week on her upcoming Hannah Montana movie, will go forward as planned with a special concert set to take place at (where else?) the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando on Saturday. As far as Cyrus’ participation continuing as scheduled, Disney spokeswoman Brenda Kelly Grant told E! News that “nothing has changed on our production.”

Actually, maybe Disney has a point. The more it lingers on those Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair photos, the bigger deal it becomes. It’s probably for the best, in fact, that Miley Cyrus ploughs on through as normal, because the pictures will be easily resigned to the past soon enough if she refuses to listen to all the kneejerk outcry coming from smallminded fools.

Plus this way Miley Cyrus gets to use the concert to try out her new songs I’m Just A Sexy Schoolgirl, Can I Lick Your Lollipop? and Wow Daddy (Your Arms Are So Big).

Read more:

Miley Still Working for the Mouse – E! Online