Hold the phone! There's a young female Disney star out there who doesn't go around putting it about like a common tart – and that young star is 14-year-old Miley Cyrus from Disney's Hannah Montana, who absolutely isn't pregnant.
That didn't stop the whole wide internet believing that Miley Cyrus was pregnant yesterday, though, when a report claiming she had a bun in the oven – with quotes apparently from Miley Cyrus herself saying things like "I'm going to take good care of my baby" – was spread around various websites at lightning speed. But now it's emerged that the whole Miley Cyrus pregnancy story was all just a hoax that got out of hand – and a good thing too. Although if the story had been true, who could possibly blame Miley Cyrus for getting pregnant at 14? After all, Miley's father is Billy Ray Cyrus, and if a girl can't validate her crippled sense of self-worth stemming from years of taunts about her Dad's spectacularly dreadful haircut by sleeping around like a hooker, then what can she do?
Remember when Disney was wholesome and family-friendly and only dealt with fairytale ideals like animals getting shot and old ladies drugging young girls into comas and two dogs doing it outside an Italian restaurant? How we long for a return to those values instead of the parade of strumpets that Disney currently offers us.
If it wasn't bad enough that Disney's High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens showed us her tits and minge and then performed a tonguey lesbian almost-kiss for everyone to see on the internet, then the news that 14-year-old Miley Cyrus – star of Disney's hit TV show Hannah Montana – had fallen pregnant was almost enough to send us over the edge. "What next?" we humorously thought, "Tinker Bell performing squalid sex acts on herself while being watched by a gang of leering businessmen to fund her crippling addiction to crystal meth? Goofy auto-asphyxiating himself to death in front of some weeping toddlers? Enough is enough."
But luckily we didn't as far as our next witty example about how Disney's standards have fallen – hint: it featured Eeyore going to Tijuana – because Miley Cyrus isn't pregnant at all. Not even slightly. Although several websites yesterday picked up on an article from J-14 magazine that appeared to claim that 14-year-old Miley Cyrus was pregnant, the whole thing's turned out to be a great big hoax. MSNBC reports:
“It is 100% not true,” a rep for Miley told Access Hollywood. On Monday morning, the magazine J-14, quickly issued a statement, pointing out a page from their July issue had been spoofed. “Despite Internet rumors, J-14 NEVER reported that Miley Cyrus was pregnant,” a statement for the magazine read. “Someone doctored the ‘This Just In’ article that appeared on page 16 of J-14’s July 2007 issue, where a few of Miley’s Hannah Montana co-stars talked about her gross habits. Miley is an intelligent, respectable role model for young girls, and the editors of J-14 pride themselves on presenting our readers with credible stories and information.”
Which still leaves that Jesusy girl as the only teenage mother in showbusiness. But, you know, the news that Miley Cyrus isn't actually pregnant has given us all kinds of conflicting emotions. On the one hand we're pleased that Miley Cyrus isn't pregnant because 14 is no age for a young actress to get knocked up. A local British comprehensive schoolgirl, yes; but not an actress. But on the other hand, our brand-new 'Disney Stars Depravity Sweepstake' is going to take that little bit longer to complete. And Raven-Symoné's going to have to do something pretty bloody filthy if we're ever going to win that money.
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kimberly says
hey whats up srry 4 all the rumors if you were preg. i would still love you
nakiya says
i don’t think that girl is having a bady and she is to young and iam the same age as her and i am not so leave her alone
Misti says
Wow this is like one of HollyWoods first tennager that has not got in trouble or done the dirty deed. This is a remotely true statement that I just made.
Britney says
she should have been pregnant. She said this isnt the “attention” she wanted. We all know what happens to girls who love attention. She’s so innappropriate..saw that picture of her in her underwear showing her butt. hilarious.
crystal says
i think that that is absolutely not true she is soo not pregnet how can some 1 come up with that that is soo stupid im sorry for saying stupid
cassandra says
hannah montana is not pregnant just leave her alone
Emo Girl says
omg people get over it she not pregant with any ones baby so if you are one of the one spredding it stop it
maria says
LEAVE HER ALONE just because she good doesnt mean you have to try and find somthing to make bad of her!i mean really we need one good girl on disney channel!
savannah says
ok look she is not preg. give her a break if she was preg. they wouldnt be making another season her dad would not allow it ok so lay off she is not preg. her and nick r only frinds
jeff balz says
When she is old enough I will “take one for the team” and impregnate her….
sweetheart88K says
the girl is only 14 so what i was 16 when i got preg and i love my baby there would not be nothing wrong with a 14 year old being preg if she really was
Nevimbo says
Miley,,, so sorry about the rumours.. I like your music..
VERY GOOD ROLE MODEL FOR KIDZ..
A am a ten year old and alwayz dreaming about being a POP Star.. But will never happen..
Hehe
Love Ya
adalys says
i now that miley isn’t pregnant
Cood says
oi wanka wt ya mean british school girl ya fukin prik jst coz u dint get no pussy wen u wer 14 y dnt ya say unlike that prik hu married a 42 year old at 14 in alabama dik ed
alyssia says
hi hannah i knew it was a rumer all along even my mom knew it. but even if you wherre i would still love your songs and mayby even come to a concert of yours. and i would think that you would be a great mom my mom always thought i was you number one fan i belived her but i wouldnt doubt my mom or you. lifes what you make it so lets make it rock from.alyssia
i dont bite my tongue says
she is pregnant. i saw her talk about how she will treat her baby!!!! jus face it ppl hannah is a 14 year old girl that is pregnant. also i heard the guy who plays her father in the show got her pregnant. it was a rape. i also heard that she was sleeping around with: Lil Wayne and Plies the rappers. it’s kinda sad but o well guess u littie wannabe hannahs better find a new girl to WISH u were lol.
am crazy fan to hannah montana.(hager) says
look guys hannah montana or miley will not finish from the hoaxes ok she is so so so rock star and i guss nobody doesnot love her and realy i love her so so so much it nonsence ok.PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE HER ALON JUST FOR A WHILE SHE CANNOT BE PREGNANT .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hannah Montana Protectors says
fuck off ppl like come on she is 15 and not everyone in hollywood is a fucking skank.jeez.
hannah is a good girl. and ppl have nothing better to do than put her down and try and make her look horrible.
Shooty* says
“nakiya Says:
September 27th, 2007 at 12:03 am
i don’t think that girl is having a bady and she is to young and iam the same age as her and i am not so leave her alone”
Whoa, a paradox. I love them. You’re the same age as her… but you’re not. OK. It’s like an algebra thing, isn’t it? no, don’t tell me. If she’s X years old, you’re, like, X/2 +8 x3? Yeah?
zesha says
hannah monatna loves nick jonas but i think she love nick jonas for good today ican,say hannah motanta is my idod she make me happy.good way is nice selna gomnez she is make you mad love sasha
Tina_bby says
Are you fucking serious?? you’re such a whore bag. You must be white tralior trash to get pregnant at 14. That’s disgusting.
kasharra says
Girl please how you gon be the same age as her and you can’t even spell?
kasharra says
say somethin punk how we suppose to know yo opinion about if hannah montana is preggo.
johnyah says
Excuse me hannah montana is not pregnant.you is lyin and you know it.
kasharra says
my lil cousin johnyah wanted to say that hannah is not preggo.SHE IS 4.
MISS D says
u r soo right i am 11 years old and no how to spell BABY OMG SUCH EASY WORD
MISS D says
U CAN NOT SPELL
MISS D says
HANNAH I DONT BELIVE THAT I JUST CAME ON HEAR BECAUSE MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT