The Inevitable Saucy Prince William, Kate Middleton Photos Mercifully Not Released

Famous people never learn which is perhaps why we love them ever so dearly. They never learn that you never take scandalous pictures and/or video with your significant other and expect them to remain safely under wraps.

The most recent example of such folly is Prince William. Stolen photos of him and his little strumpet Kate Middleton were this close to being published before the photos were turned into the police.

And as such, we thankfully can now put away this bleach we had on hand in case we viewed the photos and needed to sterilise our eyes.

There should be a new law enacted that says that famous people must go through a famous people instructional course to teach them how to not be idiots. The main structure of the course would consist of teaching them to always wear undies with a short dress for a night on the town, never let your husband make a movie with Angelina Jolie, and a full semester on how to not let scandalous photos and videos into the hands of money whoring perverts.

The most optimal solution would not be to make them at all, because even if the photos never make it to the press, we all now know they exist, and it makes for a ridiculously exhausting time trying to block any and all images that may be conjured up.

Especially when the photos in question involve a pasty-skinned royal and his girlfriend. According to Great Britian’s The Sun, a couple of guys tried to sell photos of Prince William and his girlfriend, Kate Middleton, to the paper an hour after the camera was reported missing. Reportedly, Kate Middleton’s presence in the pictures is assumed at this point, seeing as Price William’s teeth obscure most of her face in all of the shots.

According to The Sun, the pictures apparently held some “sexy snaps” of the couple on vacation in the Caribbean. It seems that any other detailed alliterations were withheld before the publication turned the photos in to London’s Metropolitan Police.

We hope that Prince Willy and his girlfriend will be more careful in the future. Additionally, we hope and pray that any photos of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles that may exist will never be revealed, but since any pictures of them probably disintegrate instantly, we should all be safe.

Right? We’re safe, right??