Articles tagged with: Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney Set To Release A Ravetastic Electronic Album
With plenty of high profile hits and even a divorce behind him, Paul McCartney can literally do anything he wants. Let’s say he wanted to swing in through your living room window dressed as an octopus. Nobody would call him a mentalist. It’s because he’s flipping Paul McCartney from The Beatles. You have to be polite to him; he’s not a Sir for nothing. It’s well known that when The Beatles were locked away in a Liverpool studio many moons ago, they were under the influence of the mindbending drug LSD. So will Paul decide to swallow a couple of ecstasy pills so he can make more druggie inspired music? Who knows, but we expect him to don bright neon clothing and dance around like a twat with a couple of glowsticks. You see, he’s going to bring the party to YOU with an album full of electronic treats.
With plenty of high profile hits and even a divorce behind him, Paul McCartney can literally do anything he wants. Let’s say he wanted to swing in through your living room window dressed as an octopus. Nobody would call him a mentalist. It’s because he’s flipping Paul McCartney from The Beatles. You have to be polite to him; he’s not a Sir for nothing. It’s well known that when The Beatles were locked away in a Liverpool studio many moons ago, they were under the influence of the mindbending drug LSD. So will Paul decide to swallow a couple of ecstasy pills so he can make more druggie inspired music? Who knows, but we expect him to don bright neon clothing and dance around like a twat with a couple of glowsticks. You see, he’s going to bring the party to YOU with an album full of electronic treats.
Nobody Blows Paul McCartney Up In Israel, Not Even Once
Ha! Eat that, terrorists! It's 2-0 to Paul McCartney - first for that godawful Freedom song he did and secondly for not getting blown up last night. Despite the all the threats against his life, Paul McCartney and his 5,000 bodyguards finally played their long-awaited peace concert in Israel last night, with no disruption whatsoever from fanatical snipers or would-be suicide bombers or whatnot. Paul McCartney lives to fight another day! Of course, Paul McCartney's masterstroke was to address both sides of the Middle East conflict in their own language right at the start of the concert. First McCartney opened with "Shalom, Tel Aviv, shana tova, ahlan!" giving the crowd the traditional Hebrew greeting ahead of Monday's Rosh Hashanah celebrations. Then he added "Ramadan kareem" which, as we all know, is Arabic for "Not the face! Not the face!"
Ha! Eat that, terrorists! It's 2-0 to Paul McCartney - first for that godawful Freedom song he did and secondly for not getting blown up last night. Despite the all the threats against his life, Paul McCartney and his 5,000 bodyguards finally played their long-awaited peace concert in Israel last night, with no disruption whatsoever from fanatical snipers or would-be suicide bombers or whatnot. Paul McCartney lives to fight another day! Of course, Paul McCartney's masterstroke was to address both sides of the Middle East conflict in their own language right at the start of the concert. First McCartney opened with "Shalom, Tel Aviv, shana tova, ahlan!" giving the crowd the traditional Hebrew greeting ahead of Monday's Rosh Hashanah celebrations. Then he added "Ramadan kareem" which, as we all know, is Arabic for "Not the face! Not the face!"
Paul McCartney Hires Every Single Bodyguard In The Universe
Paul McCartney has often fanned the flames of hatred in the Middle East - after all, what is Silly Love Songs if not a vitriolic tirade against Islam? And because of this, Paul McCartney's concert tonight in Israel is shrouded with danger. Islamic extremists are apparently so determined to kill Paul McCartney tonight that nobody is taking any chances - which is why 5,000 bodyguards have been hired to surround Paul McCartney at all times during his visit. That's even more that George Bush needed. The message of this is clear - although he takes the death threats incredibly seriously, Paul McCartney will not deprive the Israeli people of his music. The other message, of course, is that Paul McCartney's got so many bouncers around him at the moment that there won't be anyone working the door of your local nightclub tonight, so you could probably get away with jeans and trainers if you wanted.
Paul McCartney has often fanned the flames of hatred in the Middle East - after all, what is Silly Love Songs if not a vitriolic tirade against Islam? And because of this, Paul McCartney's concert tonight in Israel is shrouded with danger. Islamic extremists are apparently so determined to kill Paul McCartney tonight that nobody is taking any chances - which is why 5,000 bodyguards have been hired to surround Paul McCartney at all times during his visit. That's even more that George Bush needed. The message of this is clear - although he takes the death threats incredibly seriously, Paul McCartney will not deprive the Israeli people of his music. The other message, of course, is that Paul McCartney's got so many bouncers around him at the moment that there won't be anyone working the door of your local nightclub tonight, so you could probably get away with jeans and trainers if you wanted.
Paul McCartney Tells Islam To Stick Its Death Threats Up Its Bum
Paul McCartney's concert in Israel next week could be his last - and not because he'll soil himself getting to the high note in Hey Jude and retire out of shame. No, instead, the concert in Israel could be Paul McCartney's last because a gang of Islamic extremists are running around telling everyone that they're going to kill him if he follows through with his plan to play there. However, Paul McCartney has shown admirable strength of character by refusing to bow to these religious fanatics. In fact, if anything this death threat has just strengthened Paul McCartney's resolve - not only will he play the concert in Israel, but he's even going to turn it into a live album, entitled Paul McCartney Live Behind Six Inches Of Reinforced Plexiglass Inside A Sealed Lead Box Surrounded By Several Bodyguards And At Least A Couple Of Tanks.
Paul McCartney's concert in Israel next week could be his last - and not because he'll soil himself getting to the high note in Hey Jude and retire out of shame. No, instead, the concert in Israel could be Paul McCartney's last because a gang of Islamic extremists are running around telling everyone that they're going to kill him if he follows through with his plan to play there. However, Paul McCartney has shown admirable strength of character by refusing to bow to these religious fanatics. In fact, if anything this death threat has just strengthened Paul McCartney's resolve - not only will he play the concert in Israel, but he's even going to turn it into a live album, entitled Paul McCartney Live Behind Six Inches Of Reinforced Plexiglass Inside A Sealed Lead Box Surrounded By Several Bodyguards And At Least A Couple Of Tanks.
Paul McCartney Vs Gordon Ramsay! Sort Of!
Paul McCartney, the former Beatle who looks most like your nan, usually only likes to fight people with fewer legs than him. But now the gloves have come off, because Paul McCartney has just squared up to testicle-faced TV chef Gordon Ramsay in a magazine over a comment the chef made about wanting to electrocute some vegetarians. It's literally the most dramatic fight between two funny-looking millionaires about vegetables that Sainsbury's Magazine has ever seen. But who to side for? On one hand Paul McCartney was in the most famous band of all time and wrote Yesterday and Hey Jude, and on the other Gordon Ramsay can cook dinner quite well. Oh, this is a right bloody dilemma.
Paul McCartney, the former Beatle who looks most like your nan, usually only likes to fight people with fewer legs than him. But now the gloves have come off, because Paul McCartney has just squared up to testicle-faced TV chef Gordon Ramsay in a magazine over a comment the chef made about wanting to electrocute some vegetarians. It's literally the most dramatic fight between two funny-looking millionaires about vegetables that Sainsbury's Magazine has ever seen. But who to side for? On one hand Paul McCartney was in the most famous band of all time and wrote Yesterday and Hey Jude, and on the other Gordon Ramsay can cook dinner quite well. Oh, this is a right bloody dilemma.
Heather Mills finds Non-Saggy, Non-Geriatric Biped to Tolerate Her
You know when you fill out a job application and you have to answer questions like: 'Have you ever been convicted of a crime?'; 'Would you be willing to submit to random drug testing?'; and 'Would you be willing to feign attraction to a volatile, squeaky-voiced woman with three remaining limbs who will likely take her drawers off to get you not to eat meat?'
No one ever thinks that last one is for real, so the answer is always ‘yes’. But, a poor hotel worker man has to look that question square in the face now that he is dating Heather Mills, and she’s rather delighted about it all.
Yay! It’s a rare night when we aren’t tossing in turmoil over Heather Mills’ happiness.
Paul McCartney Now A Medically-Qualified Thumby Knobhead Or Something
This is a bit of a secret, so keep it under your hats, but apparently Paul McCartney is quite good at music. That's not because Paul McCartney was one of the principle songwriters in the world's biggest-ever band, mind you. No, it's because Paul McCartney has now been given an honorary Doctor of Music degree from Yale University. Just an honorary one, mind you - Paul McCartney isn't that good at music. Despite the token nature of the doctorate, Paul McCartney's new title means that he now gets to fist-fight Dr Fox to determine who has the most pointlessly hokey medical-sounding title. Careful, Sir Paul - Foxy fights dirty, plus you're really bloody old. The odds aren't looking great.
This is a bit of a secret, so keep it under your hats, but apparently Paul McCartney is quite good at music. That's not because Paul McCartney was one of the principle songwriters in the world's biggest-ever band, mind you. No, it's because Paul McCartney has now been given an honorary Doctor of Music degree from Yale University. Just an honorary one, mind you - Paul McCartney isn't that good at music. Despite the token nature of the doctorate, Paul McCartney's new title means that he now gets to fist-fight Dr Fox to determine who has the most pointlessly hokey medical-sounding title. Careful, Sir Paul - Foxy fights dirty, plus you're really bloody old. The odds aren't looking great.
Yoko Ono Feels All Upset For Heather Mills
It’s fair to say that John Lennon was a bit of a musical genius. He and Paul McCartney momentarily stopped nicking cars and Hobnobs from the corner shop to write a whole load of pop tunes. These songs captivated a city, a country and later the whole world.
However, every successful star has a downfall, and he had a couple. But unlike today’s woozy musicians, like the moon crater face bloke from Keane, the copious amounts of drugs he took didn’t knacker him up. Instead, it was a stumpy Japanese woman called Yoko Ono.
