Paul McCartney is all set to headline the opening ceremony of London 2012 Olympic Games alongside other British music stars who probably aren’t nearly as good. Unless they get Girls Aloud on which would be amazing.
The Beatle has told organisers of London 2012 he is “up for” playing at the opener, but which songs he will play is yet to be seen. Or organised at all probably. And Ringo Starr won’t be there, which is simultaneously a shame and of little consequence.
But which songs should Macca consider? Sure, he’s got a massive back catalogue to play with, but there’s some cheeky tracks that are less famous that he should really think about including.
A source says:
“The hope was to have the cream of British music all in the line-up but it now looks like Paul will be joined on stage by some younger stars.
“But of all the people you want, McCartney is number one. He is the ultimate showman and guaranteed to get the Olympics off to a great start.”
He’s not the only McCartney taking part. His daughter, Stella, is designing the kit for the British Olympic team too! That’s nice isn’t it? Not really. We couldn’t care less. And isn’t Heather Mills practising her skiing for the Olympics or something?
Anyway, forget all that. Which songs should Macca play to surprise everyone?
Check My Machine
One of Macca’s weirdest little indulgent moments, but oddly fantastic (why hasn’t someone done a mash-up with this and Carly Simon’s ‘Why?’). Imagine if Sir Paul walked on-stage, performed this, flicked a peace-sign and just buggered off. It would be astonishing.
Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Paul could see such a gigantic worldwide audience as a platform for his own political views and this would be a hilarious thing to perform in the middle of London with Boris Johnson and David Cameron looking on. He should sport an IRA balaclava for maximum impact also.
Temporary Secretary
Just listen to this synth based gonzo pop track and just imagine the look on the face of Sebastian Coe as it thunders out of the speakers at the Olympic stadium. It could well be the most amazing moment in British history.
Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?
Coming in a under 2 minutes, Macca could get his paycheck and slope off for an afternoon off if he performed this. Anyone who complains should be met with “Well, I said I’d do a Beatles tune didn’t I?”
Something from his ‘Fireman’ alter ego
Sound collages and nonsense. Exactly what our Olympics need.
Coming Up
Sir Paul should actually clone himself so he can recreate the video for ‘Coming Up’, complete with his amazing impression of the keyboard player from Sparks.
We All Stand Together
Big sporting events are often soundtracked by a notion of ‘togetherness’ and ‘oneness’. Paul could say… “Okay. You wanted ‘All You Need Is Love’, but that was kinda John’s song… so why not have this instead? And you’ll like it as well. That’s because I’m a Beatle and can do as I please. And yes. I am dressed up as Rupert Bear. What of it?”
Silly Love Songs
The thing that London 2012 really needs is some cod-disco and you damn well know it.
Say Say Say
Of course, Michael Jackson is dead. So who could sit in on MJ’s vocals? Tulisa from N Dubz? Jedward? If he does this, he could go straight into ‘The Girl Is Mine’ as well, and that’d be worth it just for the “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” bit.
No Songs At All.
He’s a Beatle ferchrissakes! He can do whatever he pleases! So he shouldn’t do any songs at all and just make some mashed potatoes to irritate everyone!
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Dee says
OK, this was really funny. And you’ve actually picked some great tracks. Check my Machine or Temporary Secretary at the Olympics would be mind-blowing. Naturally it’ll never happen but one can dream.
That celtic stomp track is great, by the way.
dog wover says
He should write a completely NEW song for this huge event!
It could be titled “We’re gonna beat the pants offa ya and then toss ya out”!
Well, maybe something more subtle…………
Annie says
Since he’s representing himself he should stick with his post Beatles music, which is excellent, and/or those Beatle songs he actually wrote, although he probably won’t. Unfortunately, PM seems to think he is the beginning and the end of the Beatles, more regrettable is that many of his fans today believe that and he quite likes it that way. In his mind it’s “John who?” I get so tired of hearing about “his” band the Beatles. You’re great, Paul, but wish you would stop trying to rewrite history. I saw the Beatles perform in 1965, I know who they are — you were only one of them, integral, yes, but only one of them. Anyway you slice it John Lennon started the band and ended it. You’re now the ultimate tributes band.
Dee says
Annie: That rewriting history accusation is commonly thrown at Paul but it’s unfair. He’s giving his side, as he have every right to do. Just like John did. Just like George did. It’s not Paul’s fault they’re dead. And it’s not Paul’s fault that reporters constantly ask him the SAME Beatles question over and over again. He’s become the spokesman because John’s dead, George is dead, and no one cares what Ringo thinks. (Heh.)
And Lennon, when he was alive, did A LOT of rewriting of Beatles history himself. He may have been a great interview but he changed his stories constantly.
dog wover says
So true, Annie! So true!
Phil says
Annie, that’s crap. Show me one quote where McCartney ever referred to the Beatles as “my” band. He only ever performs the songs HE wrote. He does a tribute to John in every concert he’s performed for the past 10 years. It’s all in your head. If anything, it’s the Lennon fans who like to think Lennon was the only Beatle that mattered, and resent hearing that McCartney was just as crucial to the band. Get over it.
The King says
Ringo declined? What a joke. Ringo says he tired of the Beatles stuff but I will bet he cashes all of the Beatles checks. Ringo would rather play a concert for 3,000 people (if he’s lucky) on his All Starr tour instead of 2 billion people, makes sense. Paul should call Pete Best, I’ll bet he would love to play with Paul again now that he’s been paid.