Ringo Starr Hates Paul McCartney And Says He’s The Only Remaining Beatle

Since John and George died, there’s been something of a tussle over who can be the funniest remaining Beatle. Paul McCartney is just too wacky to be properly funny, so that means, by default, Ringo gets the crown, right?

Well, sadly for Ringo, he seems to be suffering from an onset on dementia.

Of course, our Ring’ became something of a laughing stock when he warned us all with ‘peace and love’ not to send him any more gifts (how can anyone top those paintings Marge Simpson did of him?). Then he went and vaguely slagged off Liverpool. He’s priceless isn’t he? Well, now he’s slagging Paul McCartney off. Next, we assume he’ll be pissing on Lennon’s grave.

First of all, Ringo is claiming that The Beatles were lucky to have him as their drummer. And he’s right to say that as he was the best man on Merseyside to man the drumstool at the time (and, contrary to popular belief, remained a really great drummer throughout the Beatles’ career).

He says:

‘Within Liverpool, I was a lot more well know than them. Rory and the Hurricanes (Starr’s former band) were big shots in the city. We had the suits. That was our claim to fame. The Beatles were lucky to get me. It wasn’t just that I was a big shot; I was a cool drummer.’

All well and good, right? Everyone knows Ringo was better than Pete Best. But what’s all this about Macca?

Well, Ringo is still touring with his (pretty awful) All Starr Band. He keeps asking Paul to join them but alas, as one of the greatest living songwriters on the planet, he’s always busy.

This obviously sticks in Starr’s craw.

‘Every time I ask him to tour with the All Starrs, he says he is too busy.’

Then, Ringo goes a bit mental.

‘We’re as close as we want to be. We’re the only two remaining Beatles, although he likes to think he’s the only one. I actually think it’s people on the outside who perceive Paul as thinking he’s the only member left, when actually it’s me. I am the last remaining Beatle.’

Paul is dead man, miss him, miss him…

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  1. Cookie Monster says

    The only news that I want to hear out of Ringo’s camp is that the ultimate throw-down between Ringo and Charlie Watts is a go.

    How does one end-up with a name like Ringo, anyway? Was Rimhole a little too obvious? I would Google it, but frankly, that would be a bit too much like giving a fuck.

  2. says

    What are you some kind 0f and idiot, Paul and Ringo get along fine and as for your made up bullshit keep it to yourself, maybe you should go fall in love with the bay city rollers as the BEATLES are way above your intellect which is at a uneducated 2nd grade level if that, stud the BEATLES and get your shit straight or say good night you bloody ignoramous

  3. jason c says

    why does it say “paul is dead man, miss him, miss him?…..

    Because he is dead and ringo is the only remaining original beatle.. william shears cambell is still here but not paul

  4. Paul James Mccartney says

    I dont get why people say paul is not paul. Even if he is a fake paul, ringo has no right to say hes the last ORIGINAL beatle. He actually REPLACED pete so hes not ORIGINAL. Didnt think about that one did ya?