Posts tagged as:

new music

Lana Del Ray’s Born To Die Merges Drip-Hop With Impressively Flat, Emotionless Singing! Hurray!

by Mof Gimmers

Lana Del Rey is the latest hot young thing that has a myriad of jaded twentysomethings tying their genitals in knots! She writes her own songs AND is kinda good looking! What a treat! What an unusual treat! Yep, pop music totally doesn’t have a habit of giving attractive people record deals, despite the negligible [...]

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Pop Promos: Noel Gallagher Makes A Road Movie

by Lauren Mullineaux

This column is coming to you now because it’s Christmas and that’s a time of giving and moral empathy and we couldn’t not share our joyous life with you. None of these videos are real, we hope you realise that, they are mere clip shows of the fragments of our fabulously wealthy lives where nobody [...]

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Jarvis Cocker Says The Media Killed Amy Winehouse

by Mof Gimmers

When Amy Winehouse died, everyone was pretty saddened by the news. A young woman, not yet in her thirties, lost and still with a lot more to give. Shame. Of course, it was a fertile period for making lazy jokes about it on twitter, but the less said about that, the better. Anyway, Pulp honcho [...]

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Pop Promos: Black And White Stuff

by Lauren Mullineaux

Phones are still being hacked, seriously?  That’s so twenty minutes ago. Hasn’t this Steve Coogan guy and some woman called Sienna Miller had their fifteen minutes? Someone told us that’s all we’re allowed and we intend to use ours for more than pissing and moaning. We intend to use ours to inflict unflinching, often nauseating, [...]

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Tings Tings Scrap Entire Album, Not That Anyone Actually Cares

by Mof Gimmers

Remember The Ting Tings? Yeah. They once shouted “THAT’S NOT MY NAME!” and now it’s more of a case of “DOES ANYONE REMEMBER OUR NAMES?” Also, we’re right when we assume that they’re totally shagging each other, right? Either way, apart from appearances on the terrible adverts that appear in the adbreaks of the X [...]

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Liam Gallagher: Scared Of Technology And Wants To Shoot Tweeters

by Mof Gimmers

Regressive simpleton and spokesman for the thunderously stupid, Liam Gallagher, has decided that his opinion is worth a shouting at everyone… almost like people who use twitter. Y’know? Shouting at the ether? And oddly enough, he’s decided to drag his knuckles into view and start shooting his lantern gob off about twitter like a frightened [...]

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Listen To Lana Del Rey’s Tedious New Single, Born 2 Die

by Mof Gimmers

Ever get the impression that we’re in the worst period of music in mankind’s history? It’s all beige schmindie, stadium turdrock, predictable dubstep and, worse still, maudlin drip-hop like James Blake and the latest sweetheart, Lana Del Rey. In the case of the latter, everyone is busy pretending that they like her music for what [...]

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Listen To Amy Winehouse’s New Tracks Here (Or Complain About Her Drug Use)

by Mof Gimmers

A couple of new Amy Winehouse tracks have emerged online and on the radio (yes, people still listen to the radio unbelievably) and they are both getting a decent reception from fans. It goes without saying that some people will be complaining about posthumous releases and others will STILL be banging on about her drink [...]

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Lana Del Rey Doesn’t Like It When People Say She Looks Like She’s Been Kicked In The Face By A Horse

by Mof Gimmers

Have you heard the first 10 seconds of Lana Del Rey’s ‘Video Games’? Well done, you’ve lasted twice the length of most people who fell asleep, face first into their laps because she’s gone and created the most tedious record in history. Of course, those hipster swine who pretend they don’t like watching her on [...]

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Pop Promos: Apathy, Tits And Guns

by Lauren Mullineaux

Michael Jackson, Jodie Marsh, Conrad Murray, economic downturn, Steve Jobs, Blackberry breaking forever due to the incompetence of everyone in Slough, X Factor being a bit more rubbish this year, Beyoncé not being pregnant, and Rihanna being a babe. These are the majestic wide reaching array of things that have happened over the weeks that [...]

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