Have you heard the first 10 seconds of Lana Del Rey’s ‘Video Games’? Well done, you’ve lasted twice the length of most people who fell asleep, face first into their laps because she’s gone and created the most tedious record in history.
Of course, those hipster swine who pretend they don’t like watching her on YouTube because ‘she’s well fit’ will watch it to the end over and over. Not with the sound off. There’s no need. Her music is barely able to make the most rudimentary noise as it is. It’s like watching TV static. With a great rack.
Naturally, her looks have become something of a talking point. She thinks that its cruel that we pick holes in her face (especially those lips that resemble someone having an allergic reaction to nuts while ingesting two whole lilos). So what’s the beef?
The New Yorker has appealed for fans not to be ?rude or cruel? about her image, or hold her overnight success against her and says that she’s been teased over her ?fake lips?.
She says:
“In general, you don't want anyone to say anything bad about you”
“I'm sure it wouldn't have happened if I were a man. What other people think of me is none of my business but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt my feelings.”
It wouldn’t happen if it was a man. Really? Have you seen the things people say about Iggy Pop’s torso? Have you seen the dogs abuse doled out to Justin Bieber? Anyone recall someone poking fun at Thom Yorke’s eye?
Basically, shut up moaning you sodden follow-through.
Del Rey is, no question, going to be gigantic and will no doubt play the festivals this summer, leaving those sad, sad saps who liked her before she went big able to crow about how they liked her before anyone else, which of course, is the greatest music industry marketing scam ever.
It happened with Macy Gray, when everyone was under the assumption they’d discovered her for themselves, before it dawned on them that a very subtle PR campaign had fooled them all along. Same goes for Adele. It’s a clever, clever ploy that has made stars out of many ‘real’/boring singers.
But y’know, you losers can enjoy your masturbatory sessions while they last, soundtracked by music so beige that it makes stagnant water sound like a choir of angels.
AND LOOK AT THOSE LIPS ETC
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Artua says
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Katie Khan says
Oh, Mof, I love you for this.
JoeMomma says
Every grammar checker in the world just exploded with the previous comment. Who knew someone could make MJ fans’ posts seem coherent.