Lana Del Rey is the latest hot young thing that has a myriad of jaded twentysomethings tying their genitals in knots! She writes her own songs AND is kinda good looking! What a treat! What an unusual treat!
Yep, pop music totally doesn’t have a habit of giving attractive people record deals, despite the negligible talent and persistent dullditude.
But that won’t stop the pouting freight train that is Lana Del Rey! She’s going to become gigantically famous whether she actually gets around to writing a song or not! It’s almost admirable really. The perfect anti-pop star. The Lady GaGa for the supplement reader. AND SHE HAS A NEW VIDEO OUT AND WE’VE WORKED OUT WHAT IT IS ALREADY! Watch it over the jump and we promise to irritate you.
Okay. So what’s Del Rey done with her new, very expensive video for Born To Die? Well, one viewing should tell you everything you need to know about her target audience.
Throughout the video, you’ll cry…
Tigers! Tattooed hipster man! Plugged ears! Side boob!
You’ll notice the terrible lyrics. The awful, woeful, sixth form poetry 101 lyrics. You’ll cry…
Kissing in the rain! Getting high! Girls being sexily mental! Dying! Death! DEATH! DEEEEEEATH!
Yessireebob! You guessed it! Lana Del Rey has gone and done the most zeitgeisty thing ever, ever, ever! She’s only gone and made Tumblr: The Movie.
WATCH. It’s awful. We’ve not even looked at the re-emergence of 9p trip-hop flanked by flat, dead-eyed, tuneless cooing smothered in saccharine William Orbit-esque orchestrations… we’ll leave that for our inevitably scathing review of her massively successful, but utterly awful debut album.
SewerUrchin says
Cue girls on Tumblr reblogging .gifs taken from this video and harping on about how their relationship is, like, SO LIKE THIS, despite their relationship consisting mostly of them pulling forced wacky faces and having awkward kissing sessions, both of which are then photographed, run through some app that makes photos look old and shit, and uploaded to a Facebook album entitled “<3".
Patrick says
The author of this article should calm down before writting another article, because this was mean-spirited and over-critical. The song really isn’t that bad. This review is a total joke.
sian says
yeah mof, stop being mean-spirited, you big meanie