by Stuart Heritage
Sometimes all a man wants to see is a dead blonde girl commit sex acts on film – but what about when they’ve exhausted their Anna Nicole Smith supply?
Well, then there’s always the Marilyn Monroe sex tape. You heard – there’s a Marilyn Monroe sex tape. A tape of Marilyn Monroe gobbling on a man’s penis for 15 minutes. It really exists, but don’t get too excited.
A private collector has just bought the Marilyn Monroe sex tape for $1.5 million, and he’s sworn to keep it from the public in order to protect the dignity of Marilyn Monroe. Well, that and to masturbate himself scabby over the Marilyn Monroe sex tape 12 times a day for the rest of his life knowing that he’s the only one who knows what Marilyn Monroe looks like when she does blowjobs.
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by Stuart Heritage
Several things must have gone through Lindsay Lohan’s mind as she posed for those naked photographs, like “I hope they dial down my bright red pubic hair with an airbrush” and “what will my mother think?”
But, although she was right to worry about the first one, Lindsay Lohan has no reason at all to fear the latter, because her mother Dina Lohan bloody well loves the naked Lindsay Lohan photos that were published earlier in the week.
That’s good to see – Dina Lohan’s endorsement of Lindsay Lohan’s nude photoshoot is not only heartwarming, but it’s also softened her up for all those Lindsay Lohan Hot Bitch XXX Dildo Slut Action DVDs that Lindsay will be reduced to starring in by 2010.
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