Articles tagged with: Kanye West
It's natural for rappers to want to diversify - Jay-Z has his sports bar, 50 Cent has his terrible films and Kanye West, well, Kanye West has puppets. According to reports, Kanye West is developing a sort of 'hip-hop Muppet Show' with Comedy Central and the makers of Crank Yankers. Kanye West hosted the pilot of the show, which could possibly be broadcast next year, plus he'll do the music and executive produce. It's not know what specific tasks Kanye West will adopt as executive producer of this puppet show, but on a hunch we'd guess they involve standing in offices screaming "Make it more about me! More about me!" and then, when his changes have been implemented, standing in the same office screaming "Why's it all about me? How DARE you insult me like this?" and then smashing up a camera under his foot.
Airports make people tetchy, which explains Bjork's Thailand tantrum, Elton John's Taiwan tantrum and the inexplicable existence of Jeremy Spake. It also explains Kanye West's ridiculous little outburst at the paparazzi in LAX yesterday, where he pulled his hood up over his head, swung his arms about like a girl and got arrested on suspicion of vandalism and battery as a result. But now that the heat of the moment has passed, Kanye West thinks that people might have got the wrong impression of him. Yes, he might have apparently smashed up a photographer's camera, but that didn't stop Kanye West from leaping onto his blog this morning and telling the world that actually "I'm cool with the paparazzi." But did Kanye West himself really write that? Doubtful - the 21-word post only contained four exclamation marks. Kanye's average exclamation mark tally for a post that size is roughly seven hundred million billion. We smell a rat.
Kanye West lives in a world where once he achieves a certain meditative state, wondrously graceful pixies fly in through his open window and whisper unconventional rap lyrics into his ear. A little pink one named 'Ice Cream' whispered all of Gold Digger to him once when he fell asleep on the toilet.
We have this all on good authority. We wouldn't publish it any other way.
When West is getting that springtime fresh pixie breath whispered into his ear - well we bet nothing has ever felt better. When he's not though - that's gotta just bring him down. He definitely didn't have any magical fairy friends with him when he grabbed a photographers camera, lifted it way over his head and then threw it to the ground as hard as he possibly could.
This was all caught on tape by the way - video tape, to be exact.
Kanye West seems to be continuing in his quest to win at everything forever. Not content with taking the world of music by storm, the world of blogging by monsoon, the world of being cool by tsunami and the world of producing by... drizzle... Kanye West is now moving on to the world of making people fat by feeding them fried patties of ground up cow-knees. Not personally, of course - that would be surreal. No, Kanye is merely opening ten Fatburger fast food joints around Chicago, rather than actually serving all who walk through their doors with his priceless smile and boundless arrogance. And a burger.
Kanye West's stock in trade is furious, barely-legible indignation about people not realising that he's the greatest human in history, but he's outdone himself this time.
Not so long ago Kanye West performed a set at the Bonnaroo music festival that didn't go so well, possibly because he kept his crowd waiting for eight hours before finally dragging himself onstage at about 4:30am. And since Kanye West is a sage so wise that he rivals all of history's greatest thinkers, he's taken to the internet to construct a well-considered explanation for the mix up.
Just kidding - Kanye West's gone batshit! Properly, 94-exclamation-marks-in-a-row batshit. All-capital batshit. Confused, badly-formed batshit that doesn't make any sense. Hecklerspray commenter batshit. We're scared.
Over the weekend 100,000 or-so Tennesseans were all excited as they huddled around a stage waiting to see their new god, Kanye West, float down from a cloud and moonwalk or something. Kanye was quite busy though, apparently. He made his congregation wait an hour and a half before he showed his face. In his defense, maybe he was flossing or something after a day of eating only Mike & Ike's. If you're gonna get your dentals sufficiently clean that would really take at least an hour. But the fans didn't care, and some of them may have even regretted not buying that 50 Cent album instead back when the race was on. We're just kidding about that actually - for that to happen he'd probably have to show up late and fire a machine gun into a crowd of babies. Seriously - desperate measures would be needed. Still - the crowd almost stormed the stage by all reports.
We have a very fulfilling love life, and we owe it all to Kanye West. We got his New Workout Plan video, complete with Kanye West in a purple spandex singlet and sweatband, and crunched our way to dating NBA players and rappers, just like he promised.
Too bad Kanye West’s fiancée didn’t stick to the plan, too, because she got the saddle bags and muffin top thing going on, and he had to dump her flab-o trash.
Or something. There may have been other issues at hand.
Personally Amy Winehouse has had a terrible 2007, but professionally? Professionally Amy Winehouse is the new Mary J Blige.
The nominations for next year's Grammy awards have just been announced and, while Kanye West just edges her for the top spot with eight nods, Amy Winehouse has score a very respectable six Grammy nominations. And what must be heartening for Amy Winehouse is that the competition is extraordinarily weak this year, especially in the Most Toothless, Most Bleary, Most Witchlike and Most Supposedly Aggressive Husband categories.
