Posts tagged as:

drugs

Demi Moore Hates Cameron Diaz So Much, She Bans Her From A Party She Didn’t Even Go To

by Mof Gimmers

Even though she’s apparently holed-up in some rehab or other, whacked off laughing gas and a potential eating disorder, that doesn’t mean Demi Moore hasn’t got the time to be a raving, controlling lunatic as well.

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Paul McCartney Will Not Be Taking Drugs Because He’s Realised How Sad He Looks Trying To Be A Rebel

by Sophie Hall

Alright everybody, heads up. Everyone’s least favourite Beatle has an announcement to make – one that makes him seem almost responsible and, simultaneously like a lame-rebel pensioner. Ready?

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Charlie Sheen Forgets That ‘Two & A Half Men’ Was Just As Bad With Him As It Is Without Him

by Michael Park

Remember Charlie Sheen? Oh, come on don’t be that way. Of course you remember him. He was in a few brilliant Zucker, Zucker & Abrahams spoofs in the early 90s’. Really? He was the ‘drug addicted bad boy’ in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? Seriously? You don’t remember? What about the drug-addled crackhead with more delusions [...]

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Charlie Sheen Slopes Into The News With Some Legal Action Stuck To His Head

by Mof Gimmers

It’s coke week on hecklerspray and the latest trouble mental celebrity on our pages is our old chum Charlie Sheen who has stopped pretending to have feline blood and offering chandliers out for a fight, just in time to be threatened with legal action by his former employers!

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Lindsay Lohan Isn’t Boozing And Isn’t Having Sex In Petrol Stations

by Mof Gimmers

Lindsay Lohan used to be loads of fun. She was always in trouble or having sex with someone. She had set the controls for the heart of self-destruct and we all had ringside seats for an early death. And then she went and spoiled it all by looking after herself. Git. And now, after getting [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Ran A Woman Over And ‘Anguish’ Ensued! Hurray!

by Mof Gimmers

Aah! Lindsay Lohan is the perfect hecklerspray celebrity. She takes one-step forward, or one step back, and she’s in trouble. It doesn’t matter where she is, or who she’s with – she’s always on the brink of being in some kind of bother. Now, after a couple of years of jewel thievery, alleged assault, drug [...]

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Forget The Oscar Nominations! The Libertines Have A Documentary Coming Out!

by Matthew Laidlow

Why do people care about The Oscars? The winners get a lousy statue that resembles a gold-plated bottle of bubble bath with a screw top head. Hollywood has run out of ideas and has realised that the game is up, badly remaking Japanese films and adapting stupid books. But Generation Yoof won’t care about classic [...]

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Whitney Houston Is Broke: Believes Children Are Future, Not Financial Investment

by Mof Gimmers

Whitney Houston has had a GIGANTIC amount of MONSTROUSLY LARGE hits. That one off the Bodyguard where she looks like she’s defecating in a forest for the key-change in the video. That one where she had a blonde perm. It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay. Of course, there’s that one where she said that she [...]

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Eurgh, Skins Is Back And It’s Still A Gitfest

by Lauren Mullineaux

If you’re under the age of 22 then you will be familiar with the Daily Mail’s nemesis; common sense. Whoops! That should read Skins. If you’re living like the characters in the show, then you’re probably dead and we offer our sincerest sympathies; we died around the same time as Tony who was paralysed by [...]

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Bruno Mars Cleared Of Cocaine Charges: Should’ve Got The Chair

by Mof Gimmers

There is no-one more hateful on planet Earth than Bruno Mars. Absolutely everything about him is odious to the point of a year-long continuous vomit. And yet, there’s people out there who are determined to keep him in the public eye. His songs are played, his stupid goofy expression keeps appearing on our televisions and [...]

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