Posts tagged as:

Demi Moore

Madonna And Her Excellent Track Record With Marriage To Help Demi Moore

by Mof Gimmers

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore and splitting up, just like loads of people’s relationships disintegrate through misdeed, tedium and contempt. It’s not earth-shattering news, but thankfully, because Kutcher is thicker than pig’s swill, there’s been amusing foot-notes. See, Kutch thought it would be fun to have sex with Sara Leal on his wedding anniversary and [...]

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Ashton Kutcher Loved Demi Moore Roughly The Same Amount As A Green Car

by Mof Gimmers

If you were married to an incredibly wealthy woman, one who probably has a fair amount of expensive shit, what would you do to try and save your marriage to her after you’d been sticking your peen into a younger woman? Would you make the kind of gesture that money can’t buy in an attempt [...]

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You The Way It Is.

by Michael Park

Accept or Deny? Folded Space, the Final Fron- oh, you’ve probably seen the timelapse video from the International Space Station already but just in case you haven’t, here it is again. Ferenc Puskas – You’ve probably not heard of him unless you’re into football (if you’re not, jump to the next item) but if you’re [...]

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Demi Moore & Ashton Kutcher: Threesomes, Divorce And Vindication

by Mof Gimmers

And so, just like we all expected, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore’s six-year marriage has ground to a wheezing halt after Kabbalah counselling surprised us all by being thoroughly useless in its attempts to save a relationship. Of course, the statements from representatives and twitter missives went into overload last night from all concerned… and [...]

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Ashton Kutcher Is So Thick That He Can’t Be Trusted With His Own Twitter Account

by Mof Gimmers

Ashton Kutcher isn’t having a good time of it lately. Firstly, he’s in the woeful Two And A Half Men. Secondly, he’s allegedly had an affair with a young woman which has totally borked his marriage to Demi Moore. Thirdly, he’s really, really thick. He’s so dimwitted that he’s had his twitter account taken off [...]

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Bruce Willis To Make More Aesthetically Disappointing Children! Chin Chin!

by Sophie Hall

We hear congratulations are in order. WE KNOW! WE KNOW! A Cosmopolitan… Oh alright, fine. Here’s the news, killjoys. Bruce Willis has successfully impregnated another shiny, shiny woman with his brutal gametes. He must stop, really. He’s destroyed so much beauty in the universe already. Yes, that’s the one. Bruce Willis and a woman called Emma Heming (Well, [...]

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Ashton Kutcher Had Unprotected Sex With Sara Leal. Just Think About That.

by Mof Gimmers

You know how Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are totally getting a divorce? They are. Not that we’ve actually spoken to either of them because, regrettably, they’ve stopped taking our calls. But they are. They definitely, definitely are. Allegedly. (Definitely). Why? Well, any marriage that tries to fix itself with Kabbalah deserves to fail. In [...]

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Demi Moore And Her Bizarre Breasts Are Divorcing Ashton Kutcher

by Mof Gimmers

As our picture, right, shows, Demi Moore’s breasts loomed large in the marriage between the actress and Ashton Kutcher (currently of no-fixed talent). They were there. Hovering. Rock hard. Of course, this is based on having been unfortunate enough to have seen them in Striptease (so bad it’s not even camp). Those surgeon’s butcheries have [...]

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Ashton Kutcher And Demi Moore Decide To Be Religious So People Don’t Think They’ve Split Up, Which Is Handy

by Mof Gimmers

Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore have been oddly silent while everyone looks on, suspecting that the Two And A Half Men’er stuck his wotsit into a young lady when he should’ve been buying Milk Tray on their wedding anniversary. For a normally talkative twosome, this silence has only added fuel to the fire that says  [...]

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Stare At The Face Of The Woman Who May Have Had Sex With Ashton Kutcher (And Pretend You’re Him If You Like)

by Mof Gimmers

Is this the face of the woman at the centre of the potential split between Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore? Or is it just some random photograph we found online? We don’t know. Neither do you. You’d never really thought about any old picture being used as a possibility in the media until now. That’s [...]

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