If you were married to an incredibly wealthy woman, one who probably has a fair amount of expensive shit, what would you do to try and save your marriage to her after you’d been sticking your peen into a younger woman?
Would you make the kind of gesture that money can’t buy in an attempt to woo her again? Perhaps write her a hokey but well meaning song and perform it to her? Maybe you’d cook her that meal she loves in that place you first met? Maybe you’d dance around naked with 500 red roses protruding from your colon in a public place, shouting “I don’t care if I look crazy! I’m crazy about you!”
Well, if you’re Ashton Kutcher, you’ll just buy her an eco-friendly car. An eco-friendly car of love. Pillock.
The Two and a Half Men git spent over US$100,000 on a 2012 Lexus LS 600h hybrid-engine vehicle for Demi, who could probably buy ten of her own and still they’re a massive waste of her time.
Weirdly, buying someone an eco-friendly car implies that the receiver should feel a little guilty for not being green enough, which is a bit rich when you’re displaying no discernible guilt over the allegations that you got your end away with someone called Sara Leal on the sixth anniversary of your wedding.
Amusingly, because Ashton Kutcher is so ludicrously hopeless, Demi Moore has reportedly instructed her lawyers to “punish” him in their divorce.
A source close to Demi said:
“She is furious, raging in fact — you only have to look at every photo you see of her to see the toll Ashton’s cheating has taken on her.
“She wants to punish him financially because of the way he has broken her heart. She is going to give him a bitter fight and, whether or not she wins, it will be an expensive lesson for him.”
Maybe he’ll try to pay her in recycling bins?