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Comeback

Marilyn Manson Plans Comeback – It IS Panto Season After All

by Paul Pencott

Un-shocking ‘shock-rocker’ and massively uncontroversial ‘controversial artist’ Brain Hugh Warner is due to make a comeback next year, once again posing as unconvincing pantomime dame ‘Marilyn Manson’. The entire world probably shrugged at the news, secure in the knowledge that you can’t create moral panic if you haven’t had a record deal in over a [...]

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The Ting Tings to Make Comeback with Calvin Harris

by Mof Gimmers

Remember The Tings Tings? Those two who are probably shagging but not telling anyone about it? Those that sang “they call me Maureen, they call me dipshit, they call my Cyril, they call me galling, they called me thingy… that’s not my name!” Them? They’re coming back.

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Our Favourite Boyband Blue Reforms For The Summer!

by Matthew Laidlow

At hecklerspray towers, nothing quite gets us excited like the opening of a bottle of beer and a sausage roll from the local bakers. Apart from rubbish PR requests from companies, nothing really gets us going in the morning. Now, we weren’t fed tons of money to promote this to you, but we thought we’d [...]

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Womanizer By Britney Spears: She’s Number One! She’s Number One!

by Stuart Heritage

There are all kinds of ways to tell if your comeback has been successful, but Britney Spears has easily just found the best one.

Britney’s big new comeback single Womanizer has jumped 95 places in the American singles chart to reach number one. And you know what they say – when a song that sounds like Professor Stephen Hawking’s faulty voicebox being jumpstarted by a big spluttering clown-car engine gets to number one, you’ve probably been accepted by the general population to some extent.

And now that Womanizer’s number one position is the cherry on Britney Spears’ public rehabilitation cake, it’s time for her to celebrate. How? The same way she always does – by shaving her head, mashing anti-psychotic drugs into her food and trapping her own children in a bathroom until she’s sedated and taken to a mental hospital. Hooray!

There are all kinds of ways to tell if your comeback has been successful, but Britney Spears has easily just found the best one. Britney's big new comeback single Womanizer has jumped 95 places in the American singles chart to reach number one. And you know what they say - when a song that sounds like Professor Stephen Hawking's faulty voicebox being jumpstarted by a big spluttering clown-car engine gets to number one, you've probably been accepted by the general population to some extent. And now that Womanizer's number one position is the cherry on Britney Spears' public rehabilitation cake, it's time for her to celebrate. How? The same way she always does - by shaving her head, mashing anti-psychotic drugs into her food and trapping her own children in a bathroom until she's sedated and taken to a mental hospital. Hooray!
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Christie Brinkley: The Utterly Redundant Peter Cook Comeback

by Stuart Heritage

Imagine your ex-husband was on TV doing a wobbly-voiced interview about how his affair with an 18-year-old wasn’t his fault.

Imagining that? Congratulations, you’re now Christie Brinkley. And now, Christie Brinkley, given that your ex-husband Peter Cook has just shown himself to be an egomanical attention-div of the highest order by writhing around in the gutter in front of the world like this, what’s the absolute last thing you should probably do?

That’s right – dive into the gutter with him. But that’s what Christie Brinkley has just done. Christie’s released a statement that further slags off Peter Cook, even though it’s basically just another reminder for her daughter that her parents are no longer capable of rational thought. The poor girl’s already called Sailor, for Christ’s sake. How much more do you want her to resent you?

Imagine your ex-husband was on TV doing a wobbly-voiced interview about how his affair with an 18-year-old wasn't his fault. Imagining that? Congratulations, you're now Christie Brinkley. And now, Christie Brinkley, given that your ex-husband Peter Cook has just shown himself to be an egomanical attention-div of the highest order by writhing around in the gutter in front of the world like this, what's the absolute last thing you should probably do? That's right - dive into the gutter with him. But that's what Christie Brinkley has just done. Christie's released a statement that further slags off Peter Cook, even though it's basically just another reminder for her daughter that her parents are no longer capable of rational thought. The poor girl's already called Sailor, for Christ's sake. How much more do you want her to resent you?
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Cancer-stricken Patrick Swayze to make TV comeback

by David Schwartz

From DIETPIXIE- It seems nothing really can put Patrick Swayze in a corner. Just a few months ago, the Dirty Dancing star had weeks to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. But it was reported this week that 55-year-old Patrick Swayze is actually returning to work. Yes, you heard that right: cancer-stricken Patrick Swayze [...]

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Britney To Become Vegas Freakshow

by C J Davies

Las Vegas: shimmering sin-capital of overblown gambling, legalised prostitution and neon lights burrowing their ever-so-bright way into your retinas.

All well and good, but there’s something missing. Know what that is? A mildly psychotic pop star who enjoys shaving her head and displaying her vagina, that’s what.

Thank the sweet weeping lord, then, for Britney Spears. She’s apparently decided to use Vegas – or, more specifically, the Palms Hotel and Casino – as the jumping point for a ‘spectacular comeback.’ Given that her last ‘comeback’ involved bobbing around onstage like a confused autistic sealion in front of millions of TV viewers, it’s safe to say that this is gonna be an interesting situation to say the least.

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Britney Spears Returns To How I Met Your Mother

by Paul Sorrenti

The all singing, all dancing, bald umbrella-wielding straw-dog of the worlds media, Britney Spears, is all set to re-plaster her face across the ever-stretching, mind-sucking abyss of America’s TV screens.

You will once again get to look back at her and respond to what she says and does, as if she were actually in your front room with you!

Imagine that. All you need do is squint and someone as famous as Britney Spears will be hanging out with a dirty, little, scum-sucking prole like you – as if it were the most natural thing in the world!

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Britney Spears Primed For Biggest Human Comeback Of All Time

by Paul Sorrenti

Britney Spears Priming For Biggest Human Comeback Of All TimeBritney Spears is getting ready to launch a new $100 million (that’s £50 million) world-wide comeback tour, according to The News Of The World.

Just recenty – just yesterday, in fact – it seemed to all that, like Kurt Cobain and Vincent Van Gogh before her, Britney Spears had reached the end of line – feeling she had nothing left to give – and that all she needed now was one small, gentle push into death’s eternal release. Ahh.

But, unlike like Kurt and Vince before her, she has seemingly deciding that she actually does have something more to offer and that she is going to tour the world giving it out for about $100 dollars a ticket!

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Whitney Houston’s Comeback Album Ready To Fill Your Stockings

by Stuart Heritage

This Christmas, families around the world will be united by one thing – the sound of a crack-addled hasbeen croaking out pale imitations of her best-loved hits.

Amy Winehouse? Don’t be silly – we’re talking about the queen of substance-deranged power-ballads here, not the scabby-faced pretender to her crack-addled throne, here. That’s right, Whitney Houston is back.

Well, sort of back. Whitney Houston’s comeback album – her first for six years – will be released in time for Christmas. It’d be ready sooner, but it’s going to take nine months of round-the-clock labour to photoshop the album’s artwork so it looks like Whitney Houston’s pupils are the same size and that she’s got teeth and generally looks a bit less identical to Samuel L Jackson in Jungle Fever.

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