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celebrity news

Taylor Swift To Pollute The Inevitably Awful Les Miserables Movie

by Mof Gimmers

Taylor Swift (the Hayseed Barbie) has apparently been offered the role of Eponine in Tom Hooper’s new ‘Les Miserables’ film, which is clearly terrible news for those chumps amongst you who like overwrought musicals. What’ll irritate the purists even more is that Swift has seemingly beaten off (no, not like that) actual actors including Lea [...]

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Barry Manilow Now Two Eyes Away From Being Entirely Man-Made After Hip Replacement

by Mof Gimmers

Barry Manilow, these days, looks like a man constantly doing a bank robbery with a pair of tights squeezed over that peculiar face of his. That’s the perils of indulging in FAR TOO MUCH plastic surgery folks! And now, Baz The Manilow is shuffling to recovery after undergoing hip replacement surgery, like he’s someone’s nan. [...]

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Cheetah The Chimpanzee, Now Very Much Dead (You Thought It Was Already Dead Didn’t You?)

by Mof Gimmers

Cheetah, the fastest one from the Thundercats has died. Lion-O is said to be uncontrollably grief stricken and considering alcoholism while Snarf is preparing a press-conference about her untimely… wait… that’s the wrong one. We’re talking about Tarzan’s buddy aren’t we? Okay, glossing over the fact that, like most publications, we’re willing to invent situations [...]

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Holly Valance Is Engaged After Fire-Based Proposal And Gigantic Earthwide Indifference

by Mof Gimmers

Holly Valance, who remarkably is only 28, has announced to the world, while pimping herself at a promotional event while dressed as a cave-girl, that she’s gone and got herself engaged to a millionaire. Presumably, we’re all supposed to be crestfallen at this news like we all still fancy her or something, despite the fact [...]

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Ryan Gosling? Ryan Reynolds? What’s The Difference?

by Mof Gimmers

Hey perverts! Get ready to say “Oooh. I wouldn’t say that to him. I’d…” and then trail off into your own dirty thoughts. Okay? Let’s go shall we! Ryan Gosling is fed up with people confusing him for fellow actor Ryan Reynolds. Do you know the difference? Seems a lot of people don’t. Once you’ve [...]

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Scarlett Johansson Isn’t A Slob At Home: Also, More Press Inches Since Leaked Nudes

by Mof Gimmers

We’ve seen Scarlett Johansson’s boobs and bum after some clever-dick managed to breach her internet security and show the world her wares, or rather, the way she gives the people she’s boning and lob-on. And for the most part, jealous woman spat ‘Well, they weren’t THAT good’. But there’s more to Scarlett than all that. [...]

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Sean Penn Is A Massive Bitch And A Commie One At That

by Mof Gimmers

When Sean Penn’s not being pestered by Scarlett Johansson on the rebound, he’s being all philanthropic and all that jive. Of course, having a political persuasion means you’ll rub some people up the wrong way and they shout at you. Mercifully for Sean Penn, he’s a grade-a bitch. He has put-downs that could almost match [...]

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George Michael’s Doctor Ruins Christmas For Everyone

by Joanna Bolouri

You’ll all be pleased to know that singer George Michael is making good progress as he recovers from a recent bout of pneumonia in Vienna.  That’s good isn’t it? He’ll be cocking around the Christmas Tree in his giant house just in time to watch the Queen’s speech, before driving off somewhere,  full of festive [...]

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Scarlett Johansson’s Musician Boyfriend Must Have A Large Wang Because He’s Got Nothing Else Going For Him

by Mof Gimmers

Boobs. Now we’ve got that out of the way, let us look at the rest of Scarlett Johansson’s tawdry existence on this wretched, awful speck of dust we call Earth as it revolves its tired way around this cold, unyielding solar system of ours. Joy! Showbiz joy at that! Anyway, now ScarJo has stopped dry-humping [...]

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Scarlett Johansson Talks About Her Leaked Boobs [Video]

by Mof Gimmers

Hey! You probably don’t remember this, but a while ago, Scarlett Johansson got her emails hacked and some nudey photos of her ended up online and a couple of people got to see her bottom and busters. It probably didn’t seem like much of a big deal to you and you certainly wouldn’t have kept [...]

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