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Britain’s Got Talent

Tiny Eyed Michael McIntyre Makes 9 Year Old Comedian Cry in Britain’s Got Talent

by Mof Gimmers

Michael McIntyre, a man that seemingly no stand-up comedian likes because he’s not edgy enough and became incredibly famous in a very short period of time, is clearly seeing off the competition before they get a foothold on the comedy ladder. McIntyre, who is starring on the panel of judges on the new Britain’s Got [...]

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Amanda Holden: Stop Crying, If Only For The Sake Of Your Amniotic Fluid

by Ralph Sanders

Despite the fact that Amanda Holden should technically be reclassified as an android after the mixture of human tissue to plastic, polymers, artificial tear ducts and assorted car engine parts  dipped below 50% in 2010, the Britain’s Got Talent judge has announced that she is six months pregnant. More than this, because she is so [...]

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Elton John Thinks That Music All Sounds The Same Today Before Writing Third Version Of Candle In The Wind About It

by Mof Gimmers

Elton John is good value for money because he’s an outspoken old bitch. Over the years, he’s glammed up his work with a variety of outlandish outfits and even more unbelievable wigs. And now, he’s making ridiculous claims about pop music. This is despite the fact he did a duet with insipid boy-bland, Blue. In [...]

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Susan Boyle Isn’t Poor, But Just Acts Like She Is

by Stuart Heritage

Susan Boyle has proved that nothing earns money faster than making people feel guilty with your hairy face.

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Women Sues Simon Cowell For Being A Nasty Man

by Mof Gimmers

By now, we all know what Simon Cowell is about. He’s a panto dame without quite so much badly applied make-up. He is the head of an entertainment syndicate that is rivalled only by WWE. In fact, the similarities between Cowell and wrestling’s Vince McMahon are many. Flat-top hair-cut… neutrally coloured clothes that still manage to be slightly offensive… man-tits… giant foam hand. Anyway, the point is, they’re the villain of the show, watching over their lair like mini-Murdochs.

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Do You Want To Be The Next Susan Boyle? You Do? Really?

by Stuart Heritage

You know when you take a picture and you keep photocopying it until you end up with a page of impenetrable scrawl?

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Susan Boyle To Howl At The Pope

by Stuart Heritage

Look, there’s no other of putting this, so we’ll just say it – we want Susan Boyle and the Pope to fall in love.

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Miley Cyrus Visits GAY, Something Tedious Ensues

by Stuart Heritage

When we watch Miley Cyrus these days, part of us feels like we’re watching our own daughter grow up.

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Want To Know What Susan Boyle’s Funeral Song Is? Good

by Stuart Heritage

Celebrities are dropping like flies at the moment. Gary Coleman’s gone, Dennis Hopper’s gone. They’re all dying.

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Susan Boyle To Squawk Out Autobiography

by Stuart Heritage

Susan Boyle taught the world to never judge a book by its cover – not even a hairy book that dresses like a homeless woman.

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