Susan Boyle may well be known partially for her angelic singing ability, but really, we’re more interested in her crazy antics. She’s like Michael Jackson, only without the crazed fans, dance moves and court appearances.
And now, it is that time of year when your obese uncle visits because he's eaten his own cupboards bare, Britain?s Got Talent has rolled round to gnaw away the ITV schedule.
So it seems only fitting that Susan Boyle gets a waxwork replica dedicated to her in the world's most cruddy museum chain, Madame Tussauds. This way, the PR behind Britain?s Got Talent can revert to a former success story when the UK public realise that this year?s so called crop of talent is a load of drivel.
The waxwork of Susan Boyle is being showcased in Blackpool, a town famous for being a poor man’s Las Vegas [Vivaaa Las Blackpool! – Ed]. Instead of having any genuine glamour, the glittering billboards and grand hotels are replaced with 32 watt lightbulbs that blink every other minute and need replacing every other month. The only people fascinated with Blackpool illuminations are those living in rural areas who haven't been introduced to the invention of colour and still believe in incest.
With the UK and the world in general suffering from crippling debt, it's great to know that somewhere, someone thought it would be great to blow money on honouring image of yet another disappointing Scottish person. we're not just talking a a couple of quid you could pay school children to make a ropey knock off model. Instead, ?150,000 was spent on the model of Susan Boyle.
But what exactly has Susan Boyle contributed to the world? Has she made the Scottish national dish ? the deep fat fried Mars Bar calorie free? Perhaps she's written detailed blueprints on how to overthrow the dictatorship in Zimbabwe? No, none of the above are correct. Instead, she is known for being the crazy woman who went on Britain?s Got Talent, looked like she'd had an argument with a bag of flour whilst dressing in the dark and surprised us all when she opened her gob and started singing.
Yes, we did all look like idiots afterwards and the goody two shoes of the world started telling us that we should never judge a book by its cover. Either way, Susan Boyle ruined the internet for a couple of months as the video of her performance was spread quicker around the internet than a lady of the night giving out STDs to clients. But we're not here to whizz on her chips; she seemed to have a jolly good day out, commenting on her wax likeness:
?What can you say? They have done a very good job. It feels fantastic”
Fantastic indeed, as you see, dear reader, people who come from West Lothian can't afford mirrors. Therefore, most of the population have never seen their own image unless they live close to a lake or a river. Even then, the excitement of seeing themselves results in accidental drowning as they attempt to rescue the person trapped under the water.
we're sure that when all the Susan Boyle hype fades away, She'll be allowed to keep the model so she can sit it in her kitchen and count it as a real life non-talking friend.
Bless.
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Micky Bananas says
“The only people fascinated with Blackpool illuminations are those living in rural areas who haven
cheesehead says
Nothing in this article is worth reading because it’s all crap and jealousy.