Susan Boyle has proved that nothing earns money faster than making people feel guilty with your hairy face.
She’s loaded. And it’s all for one simple reason – because Susan Boyle is so staggeringly odd-looking that people are truly amazed when she’s not massively incompetent at everything she tries her hand at. Oh, and also it’s because she’s got a clever financial team who don’t let her spunk all her earnings away the instant they arrive. Which has made Susan Boyle furious, by the way.
Susan Boyle is apparently complaining that she’s only allowed ?300 of her ?10 million fortune a week, which isn’t even enough to buy furniture for her new house. Honestly, with strict rules like that anyone would think that a) she has experienced mental difficulties in the past and b) is unaccustomed to dealing with large sums of money. Oh, hang on.
The important thing to remember with Susan Boyle is that it won’t last forever. She’s essentially a YouTube sensation, so sooner or later the world will move onto to another YouTube sensation – maybe a baby that looks like Vladimir Putin, or a seagull in a top hat – and forget about her.
But at least when that happens, Susan Boyle will be set for life. Her management team has set up a system of trusts and investments to ensure that, even if her popularity wanes, she’ll still have the bulk of her ?10 million fortune to live off when she retires. The downside to this is that Susan is only allowed ?300 a week in spending money, which seems fair enough.
Remember that Susan Boyle was admitted to The Priory just because she didn’t win Britain’s Got Talent, and that her mental frailties could cause her to spunk away her entire fortune on a giant fibreglass statue of a dancing pony if she had unrestricted financial access.
But still, Susan Boyle’s brother Gerry has got wind of this system and has expressed concern that he won’t be able to buy that private jet he’s had his eye on it’ll have a negative effect on his sister. He told News Of The World:
“Susan said to me, ‘I’ve been told I get ?300 a week because I’m a novice. I don’t have the money to go and buy the furniture’. So she’s still stuck in the small council house where we all grew up. She should be able to walk into a bank anywhere and say she wants ?50,000 cash. That may not be advisable, but it would be HER choice because it’s HER money.”
Yes, surely she should be able to do that. Surely Susan Boyle should be able to walk into any bank she likes and say “I’d like ?50,000 cash, please, so that my brother can buy an expensive month-long holiday, an enchanted amulet and a necklace made of buzzard eyes.” The fact that she can’t is madness. Pure madness.
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Dabby says
I’m incompetent at managing my finances too. Where’s my personal financial team to save me from myself?
ItsMyOwnOpinion says
What a hateful way to describe Susan Boyle. You just wish you had this lady’s talent. Jealous much?
Land of Fire says
This is one of the most hateful pieces of crap written about one of the most famous singer of our time. Just reading the first sentences and anyone can realizes that you are a mediocre who is jelous of someone else’s good fortune and talent. It is almost funny how so many people like you have been trying for more than a year to tear down Ms. Boyle with the most disrespectful statements (with no sucess at all). Mission not acomplished Mr. Heritage. Oh, and by the way, I hope your kids would never have acces to what you wrote here. They would easily realize what kind of shit thet have for a father.
John says
Oh! This is RICH! “Le Heritage,” who is handsome and brilliant takes time out from his fame and fortune to explain to us that Susan Boyle is poudunk (which, of course implies that anyone who likes her is also poudunk). Monsieur, with the tragic state of this world right now — can you not think of anything constructive to do with your life? Or would you just ENJOY cruelty?
Kris Silver says
“one of the most famous singer of our time.”
No. Just… no.
IZMIBIZ says
Finally someone wrote a piece with some truth to it. It wasn’t her singing that made her famous (which is blah). It’s the way she looks and acts. People have fun with her and with Susan they can act like children again and forget they are over the hill. If you go to the Susan fan club websites you can see how they all act like little children. Her awkwardness attracted peoples curiosity but theres not enough interesting things about her will hold holds peoples attention. A year later she has faded into the sun set already. Her fans wont like this article.
KathyM says
Boyle didn’t complain, her idiot brother did.
If people soon forget about her, at least she made it, something that won’t happen to you Stuart.
You’re a very hateful, jealous and bitter man.
Why not put all of this negative energy into making something of yourself?
IZMIBIZ says
You are totally out of touch with reality …
Wanda says
If you look at the lists of famous singers in 20 and 21 century you will notice Susan Boyles name is not on any of those lists. Most famous singer of our time is only wishful thinking.
Karen says
“izmibiz” you obviously don’t care for Susan or her singing – so WTH do you visit her fan club websites???? Can’t wait till you’re “over the hill” if you’re so lucky to be around that long.
Danni says
Stuart, You are a very hateful person. Did Susan Boyle do anything to hurt you? Susan never said any negative comments about anyone. Why are you so mean to this lovely lady who has mild learning disability? Is it because she doesn’t look anything like Angelina Jolie? It is people like you that made the world a mess right now, there is so much hatred in you. Also, it doesn’t matter how long her flame will last. She has achieved so much that many people won’t be able to in their life time.
Her brother, Gerry should stop talking to the press, he is causing trouble all the time. I bet he wants to get control of her money.
IZMIBIZ says
We read the Susan Boyle fan club websites for a good laugh … especially the ugly old fat farts making fools of themselves chasng after Ms Boyle.