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box office

Weekend Box Office: The Dark Knight Continues To Widdle On Everything

by Stuart Heritage

First the bad news – The Dark Knight lost over half of its audience at the weekend box office compared to last week.

Now the slightly better news – that still meant that The Dark Knight pulled in $75 million in sales this weekend, over $45 million more than its next best rival. Clearly, The Dark Knight is something of a weekend box office phenomenon.

So what can a forthcoming film – say, Vicky Christina Barcelona – do to match The Dark Knight’s weekend box office success? Easy – have Penelope Cruz killed by an accidental overdose and then convince Woody Allen to beat up his own mother a day after it opens. Also, if they could make the film inordinately long and so morally heavyhanded that it may as well be delivered by a wild-eyed redneck preacher, that’d be great too.

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Weekend Box Office: The Dark Knight Now Roughly Bigger Than Jesus

by Stuart Heritage

Here’s some hardly very surprising news – The Dark Knight is the number one movie at the weekend box office this week.

More than that, though, The Dark Knight is the biggest-ever movie at the number one box office – to the tune of $155 million. That’s even more than Spider-Man 3 managed. The Dark Knight better than a film about Kirsten Dunst doing a dance about some eggs? Wow, that is good.

What’s more impressive is that The Dark Knight managed to be the best ever movie at the US weekend box office even though it’s an overlong pitch-black morality tale made notorious by the death of one of its stars. That means that The Dark Knight is also the most depressing box office megahit since at least Big Momma’s House 2 came out.

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Hellboy II Tops Weekend Box Office (Insert Tired Wisecrack Here)

by Stuart Heritage

Films about scaly, bright-red, middle-aged, barely-human creatures have been huge this year – just look at Sex And The City.

And now, adding to the list, is Hellboy II: The Golden Army – this week’s number one weekend box office movie. And Hellboy II should be proud of its achievements, too, because it managed to out-box office that film about lots of little Eddie Murphys living inside a big Eddie Murphy head. That’s impressive!

Actually, we’ll come clean and admit that we don’t know why so many people went to see Hellboy II: The Golden Army. We’re guessing that it’s because one of Bros is in it. Bros are still big, right?

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Hancock Pushes Weekend Box Office’s Head Up A Man’s Bum

by Stuart Heritage

Will Smith just can’t do anything wrong, can he? People always see his movies, even when they’re critically-mauled, about boozed-up supermen and have silly endings.

Exhibit A: Hancock is number one in the US weekend box office. And, considering that Hancock’s a movie which contains a scene about one man physically pushing another man’s head into a third man’s rectum, that’s actually quite impressive.

Hancock’s weekend box office success just furthers his incredible run of movies that are wildly popular despite not being especially great – I Am Legend, The Pursuit Of Happyness, Hitch, I, Robot, Men in Black II, Bad Boys II. A couple more of these babies under his belt and he might even beat the record currently held by Adam Sandler.

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Kung Fu Panda Shatters Box Office Records! Only In Korea!

by Shawn Lindseth

In Korea the panda is a symbol of hope, able-bodiedness and freedom. They often grace the minds of children as they drift to sleep, and inspire all others to live, to love, and to perhaps one day become a zookeeper for the sake of proximity to them or something. Keep in mind none of this [...]

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The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Weekend Box Office, Meh

by Stuart Heritage

It’s the summer! And the summer means giant, all-conquering weekend box office monoliths, right?

Well, not really. In fact, the way things are shaping up, 2008 might just be the summer of hopelessly underperforming would-be blockbusters. Let’s hope so, because that’d amuse us a bit more.

Why all the doom and gloom? Because The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, this summer’s third blockbuster and the sequel to the huge The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, has topped the weekend box office with a disappointing gross about $20 million shy of expectations. Indiana Jones, you’re next.

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Semi-Pro Scrapes Weekend Box Office Win

by Stuart Heritage

By now you all probably know about new Will Ferrell movie Semi-Pro thanks to all the talk show appearances, semi-ironic product advertising and constant TV trailers.

Thing is, though, it seems you know so much about Semi-Pro from all of this that none of you bothered to actually go and see the thing.

Although Semi-Pro is the US weekend box office number one, it only managed to scrape together a meagre $15,200,000 – roughly a tenth that Spider-Man 3 made in the same amount of time. Does Semi-Pro’s relative failure mean that the public is getting sick of Will Ferrell sports comedies? Well, yes. Plainly it does. Can’t you people read?

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Jumper Drives A Bus Through Weekend Box Office

by Stuart Heritage

Ah, Valentine’s Day weekend. What could be more romantic than dragging your girlfriend to see a hokey sci-fi movie on the off-chance that you’ll get to see Rachel Bilson in her bra.

You guessed it – Jumper is the top movie at the weekend box office.

Jumper, you’ll remember, is the film where Hayden Christensen can jump through space in an instant. We’re looking forward to when he learns to jump through time, because maybe we can convince him to undo the Star Wars prequels. And Factory Girl. And Awake. And maybe, if we’re lucky, the moment he decided to be an actor instead of a Superdrug shelf-stacker.

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The Bucket List Pushes Weekend Box Office Daisies

by Stuart Heritage

In January, people like to go and see uplifting films that help them escape the wintery gloom that surrounds them. Or films about Jack Nicholson dying, one or the other.

Because that’s what The Bucket List is about, and The Bucket List is currently the top movie at weekend box office. It’s not difficult to see why The Bucket List did well at the US weekend box office – it’s basically a remake of Cocoon, but one where all the old people die at the end instead of getting zapped up by aliens.

And, really, who can honestly say they they weren’t a little disappointed when all the old people didn’t die at the end of Cocoon.

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National Treasure 2 Just As Weekend Box Office-y As Ever

by Stuart Heritage

National Treasure: Book Of Secrets has now been the top movie at the weekend box office for three weeks, which is remarkable because nobody seems to have a clue what the bloody thing’s about.

But still, National Treasure: Book Of Secrets must have something going for it, otherwise it wouldn’t be so flipping popular at the US weekend box office. Maybe National Treasure: Book Of Secrets has done such good business at the weekend box office because it is a masterpiece, or maybe it answers a number of profoundly upsetting questions that the cinema-going public may have had for some time now.Or perhaps – just perhaps – National Treasure: Book Of Secrets is number one at the weekend box office because the main competition this week comes from a shitty horror film about a spooky telephone.

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