Batman Christian Bale Arrested For Allegedly Beating Mum And Sister Up
So you’re Christian Bale; you’re the star of The Dark Knight - one of the biggest movies ever - how do you celebrate the news?
Simple, you go a bit mental, attack your mother and sister and get arrested on suspicion of assault for it. True, it might not be the obvious way around the problem, but it’s what Christian Bale allegedly has done.
So with Heath Ledger dead and Christian Bale arrested for assault, it seems like The Dark Knight might be carrying a dark curse. We’ll know for sure as soon as Michael Caine climbs up a church tower and starts firing a machine gun at passers-by and crying, but for now it’s just a pretty strong hunch.
Christian Bale is a fascinating actor, not just because he can completely transform his body to disappear into a role, but also because he refuses to discuss his personal life in interviews. This, Christian Bale claims, is because it would detract from the mysticism of the craft, but we’re not convinced.
Maybe Christian Bale doesn’t discuss his personal life in interviews because he’s a right old mental loony.
It seems plausible since, just a few days after his new Batman movie The Dark Knight became the biggest-opening movie ever, Christian Bale has been arrested on suspicion of kicking lumps out of his sister and 61-year-old mother. BBC News reports:
A Metropolitan Police spokesman said a 34-year-old man had been arrested in connection with an allegation of assault, and remained in custody. Mr Bale is alleged to have lashed out at his mother and sister in his suite at London’s Dorchester Hotel on Sunday.
We know. It makes no sense whatsoever, does it?
Christian Bale has never really given off any signs of having a barmy side to him, and this week - the week that The Dark Knight became a genuine phenomenon - should have been one of the happiest of Bale’s life.
Having said that, we like to attack members of our family in times of great joy as well - we got three numbers on the lottery a couple of months ago and we were so happy that we took a cricket bat to granny’s shins. Plus every time hecklerspray wins an award we go out and cheerfully drown a nephew in the river. So we can totally see where Christian Bale is coming from. If he did it, of course.
Of course, Christian Bale hasn’t been charged yet, so it’d be wrong to assume that he’s guilty of anything. It could all just be a giant misunderstanding.
Or perhaps Christian Bale just sank so deep into the psyche of one of his characters that he reacted in a way that was completely unlike him. In which case we’re probably right in thinking that the pervading theme of Batman 3 will involve Batman throwing a great big mardy sulk when his mum comes round and tells him that he’s getting a little bit too big for his boots.
Biff!
Pow!!
Kapow!!!
Boff!!
Zap!
Splatt!!!
Sock!
Whamm!!!!
Eee-yow!!!
Ooooff!!
Zowie!!!!!!!!!!
Thunk!!
Kayo!!!
(allegedly)
etc etc etc
i really hope that Mr. Bale wasn’t going mental. I became a Batman fan after watching The Dark Knight. Mainly after watching Bale’s awesome performance. Well, i hope for the best, we shall see hm?
Well, I must say, this report was EXTREMELY biased. I’ve read others on this, and they clearly say not to draw any conclusions if he did it or not. This just tears the man apart and does point the finger. If you don’t know all the facts for sure, then you can’t really blame someone for something. I’m not saying he did do it, I’m not saying he didn’t. But maybe, whoever wrote this, should consider all possibilities before trying to make other people believe something even if they don’t know if it’s true or not.
Bale wasnt arrested for beating his family it was verbal assault
Wow. Can an assault be VERBAL? Because then my mother should die in prison.
Oh please …
His sister demanded $200,000. When he refused, she insulted his wife.
He then shoved both of them out the door.
it really is too bad that people keep bothering him about these rumors, he seems like a solid guy in general
[...] box office performance and all-round positive reviews in exchange for the evil curse to be placed on all those who had something to do with the [...]
In several television documentaries and biographies on the web, it has been stated that Bale’s mother was a Clown. Perhaps he hadn’t gotten out of his “Dark Knight” persona when the incident “allegedly” occurred. Rather than seeing his mum he saw a clown and gave it a jolly good thrashing…thinking he still had time to save Rachel.
or maybe when he looked at his Mom he saw
a giant picnic basket covered in ants and
thought “I’m not going to be the Sticky Bear”
and pushed that picnic basket as far away
just as fast as he could. Or maybe he thought
he was being Kojaked by a pair of electronic
elves and that he had to help them outside before
the electromagnetic fields from his cell-phone
and fish tank interrupted the hamster parade. Twat.
[...] he may not have threatened his mum, died or had a serious car accident, but directly slagging off a competitor’s film is [...]
[...] month saw Christian Bale arrested on suspicion of assault, and while everyone went mental thinking the guy had beaten some evil-doers [...]
Clearing up a bit about the peculiarities of wording in the American legal system…
‘Assault’ refers to the threat of violence while ‘Battery’ is the actual crime of physical violence. Both are illegal of course but there are such distinctions in definition across the world.
That’s why some US readers may have assumed there was no physical violence involved.