It’s not surprising there are so many movie stars and directors on Twitter.

Well, let’s face it, they have not got much else to do, have they? Doing two movies a year, the odd junket and endless parties is hardly the most demanding schedule.

So why not spend some of your time annoying the hell out of them? To help you in your task, we have provided a list of Hollywood stars who somehow find the time to regularly update their Twitter accounts. Oh, and for some reason we also included John Mayer.

Enjoy!
26. Shahrukh Khan

India’s biggest movie star

http://twitter.com/shahrukh_khan

Typical tweet: “Mycoprotein cutlets are a very good alternative to pork or chicken or veal, it seems.”

25. Jennifer Aniston’s ex-boyfriend

John Mayer

http://twitter.com/johncmayer

Typical tweet: “Interviews with Seacrest are like flooring it in a golf cart: you’re not going fast enough to do any real damage, but you still hold tight.”

24. Emma Watson

Harry Potter actress

http://twitter.com/mwtsnx

Typical tweet: Another private one – but we are guessing it’s about shopping and eating.

23. Nikki Reed

Actress from Thirteen and Twilight

http://twitter.com/itsnikkibitch

Typical tweet: “Found photos of rob & I from yesterday. Good thing you stayed at home or you would have had a meltdown,” in response to Kristen Stewart, whose account is currently suspended.

22. David Silverman

Simpsons Animator and director; co-director of Monsters, Inc

http://twitter.com/tubatron

Typical tweet: “Now that I’ve lost so much on the stock market, it pains me that I didn’t spend money friviously instead.”

21. Dane Cook

Unfunniest person on the planet who is in movies sometimes

http://twitter.com/Dane_Cook

Typical tweet: “WOW! everybody’s twiterring now! looks like i’m not the only loser hahaha.”

20. Rachel Bilson

Actress and less-than-frequent Twitterer

http://twitter.com/rachel_bilson

Typical tweet: “Shopping! Shhhhhh.”

19. Kevin Pollak

Actor

http://twitter.com/kevinpollak

Typical tweet: “Were the Jonas Bros sent here by a messenger of good or evil…..?”

18. Diablo Cody

Former stripper and screenwriter

http://twitter.com/diablocody

Typical tweet: “Gotta go. Feeding the parents.”

17. Jane Fonda

Actress

http://twitter.com/JaneFonda

Typical tweet: “Just approved the last few pages on my blog which will launch tonight. Exciting…..I’ve got to get some sleep soon, hopefully launch soon.”

16. Channing Tatum

‘Actor’

http://twitter.com/channingtatum

Typical tweet: “Check Out Channing Tatum’s Top Ten BIGGEST Fans for 2009!!!”

15. John Lithgow

Actor

http://twitter.com/John_Lithgow

Typical tweet: “So the front page of the NY Times compared my hairline to Elvis’ on Friday. Is this a compliment?”

14. George Takei

Star Trek legend

http://twitter.com/georgetakei

Typical tweet: “Our thoughts go out to the families from the plane crash in New York. Make sure you hug those close to you and let them know you care.”

13. Jean Claude Van Damme

Muscles from Brussels

http://twitter.com/jcvd

Typical tweet: “Hello toutes mes new fans sur Twitter. Le love que je feel sur ce site depuis two days me donne autant d’energy que la pectine d’une pomme.” – No idea, but it has something to do with an apple.

12. George Lucas

Director

http://twitter.com/George_Lucas

Typical tweet: “Kids are really loving the new Clone Wars series”

11. Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Governator

http://twitter.com/schwarzenegger

Typical tweet: “It is not that California is ungovernable. It’s that for too long we have been split by ideology.”

10. Kevin Smith

Film Director, Actor

http://twitter.com/ThatKevinSmith

Typical tweet: “Just woke up. Am taking the morning dump.”

9. William Shatner

Legend

http://twitter.com/WilliamShatner

Typical tweet: “Ricardo Montalban was a wonderful man I saw him on Broadway I was entertained by his movies. I loved working with him on the film we made.”

8. Ashton Kutcher

Actor

http://www.twitter.com/aplusk

Typical tweet: “Apparently I have all my planets in Aries. Which means I need to work on listening more. What?”

7. John Cleese

Python etc

http://twitter.com/JohnCleese

Typical tweet: “some people spout complete twaddle. they could be spouting incomplete twaddle and leaving the remaining twaddle for us. thoughtless!”

6. David Lynch

Overrated director

http://twitter.com/DAVID_LYNCH

Typical tweet: “Thought of the Day: Stay true to the idea.”

5. Stephen Fry

English national treasure and sometime movie actor and director

http://twitter.com/stephenfry

Typical tweet: “600 people went to the theatre, not to see Oliver but to compete in a paper & chocolate wrapper rustling competition. Others came to cough.”

4. Vanessa Hudgens

High School Musical actress

http://twitter.com/VanessaHudgens

Typical tweet: “Just bought a juicer online. The name of the game is enzymes: who knew?”

3. Demi Moore

Annoying actress and Twitter nut

http://twitter.com/mrskutcher

Typical tweet: “Hubby torturing me!”

2. Luke Wilson

Slightly-less-popular-than-brother actor

http://twitter.com/LukeWilson

Typical tweet: “It’s hard to keep this twitter thing updated! I should hire someone to do this! ”

1. Elijah Wood

Actor and hobbit

http://twitter.com/elijahwood

Typical tweet: “Dancing in my underwear like Tom Cruise in Risky Biz, lol”

Now follow hecklerspray on Twitter too, please, you sods.

And the genetic fluke that’s means she looks like a wartime cartoon of Mussolini. And, worst of all, Rumer Willis has to deal with her mother Demi Moore larking around with Ashton Kutcher like a scene from a bad MILF porno.

We don’t feel sorry for Rumer Willis because she has to put up with Ashton Kutcher’s gormless babbling, though – we feel sorry for her because she had a crush on Ashton as a child, and is therefore probably clinically insane.

As countless episodes of The Jeremy Kyle Show have taught us, it’s never easy when a child’s parents divorce. And it’s even less easier when the mother remarries and the child has to deal with a new stepdad. And it’s even worse still when that new stepdad is the annoyingly gonkish one from That Seventies Show who has a bewildering sideline in sub-Beadle hidden camera pranks that he finds a million times more hilarious than anyone else on the planet.

And it’s worst of all when you realise that you used to tongue-kiss a poster of your new stepdad and write the words ‘Rumer Kutcher’ again and again in a diary to see what signature you’d use when you fell in love and got married.

That situation, more or less, is the situation that Rumer Willis – the big-jawed offspring of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore – found herself the first time that Demi Moore brought Ashton Kutcher home. Ick. The Boston Herald reports:

“Ash was a heartthrob, to me. I had pictures of him on my wall at boarding school… But I got over any strangeness because I’d never seen my mom happier. He’s like a friend as well as a stepdad. We talk about everything – auditions, boyfriends, family. He understands more than my parents sometimes because he’s closer to my age.”

That’s actually a very good point – Ashton Kutcher obviously knows more about Rumer Willis’ life because he’s closer to her age. You can’t ask Bruce Willis for advice about boys because he’s too busy concerning himself with how many godawful insurance adverts he can star in, while Demi Moore hasn’t been a 20-year-old-girl for about 400 years and is too busy trying to free a million slaves to understand what Rumer is going through. But Ashton Kutcher? He’ll always understand because he’s closer to Rumer Willis’ age.

In fact, Demi Moore should have just gone the whole hog and married a toddler, because he’d be even closer to Rumer’s age. It would have only been marginally creepier, too.

Still, it’s good to see that there’s no lingering weirdness over Demi Moore marrying Rumer Willis’ teenage crush. And if there is, Rumer can get her own back by marrying one of Demi Moore’s teenage crushes, like William Wilberfoce or Prince Maximilian of Saxony. Yeah, that’d show the bitch.

You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!

And how can we be so sure it’s out? Because two of the religion’s biggest celebrity zealots, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, seem to have abandoned the Kabbalah ship.  

That’s what we’d have done, too. Kabbalah doesn’t have near as nice a ship as the Scientology cruise ship, Freewinds, anyway. 

You remember the Kabbalah craze, don’t you? It might be hard to recall because it was before Scientology came with its aliens to establish a Galactic Confederacy in which Tom Cruise can’t take a vacation. But yeah, Kabbalah, a mystical offset of Judaism, first came to annoy us in full a few years back when bunches of Hollywood celebs began to run like a herd of rich, surgically-enhanced cattle to gather around the religious facet.   

We can probably needlessly point a lazy, disparaging finger at Madonna for instigating the Kabbalah stuff since she began practising it in the late 90s. That was back before Madonna was wearing purple leotards and fishnet stockings. Those are the days of non-horrific mental images we long for.  

Anyway, Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have been some of the most unwavering celebrity supporters to don $26 puny red string bracelets that Kabbalahists wear to protect them from the Evil Eye… and the Stink Eye, and the Wandering Eye, and the Pink Eye, and the Lazy Eye. The couple was even married in a Kabbalah ceremony in 2005. Apparently though, the couple has been absent from Friday night services and Shabbat dinner at the LA Kabbalah Centre for months now.

So, what's the deal? Have Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher decided to split from the Kabbalah scene for good? A source with ‘ties to the centre’ (sounds legit), say that whatever the reason for their disappearance may be you can rest assured it’s not because of Demi Moore’s kids. We have no idea why Demi Moore’s kids would be the reason, but their dad Bruce Willis wouldn’t allow them to be involved with Kabbalah, so don’t even think it or else he’ll go all John McClane on your trash.  

Other sources say that might Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’s absence from Kabbalah worship is because Ashton is “tired of being dragged there on Friday nights.”  Seriously, let the kid have a regular Friday night smashing beer cans on his head and organising his trucker hats and playing Rock Band all night while his wife recovers from her latest nip and/or tuck action.  

Or, it could just be that they got tired of watching Madonna suck soup through that enormous gap in her teeth during dinner. We may never know.

Read more: 

Ashton & Demi cutting ties with Kabbalah? – MSNBC