Dickmatized Mila Kunis to Appear on Two and a Half Men

milaandashtonSo, as you all know by now, hot babe/super talented actress, Mila Kunis and hot babe/zero talent actor, Ashton Kutcher are engaged. As much as I love Mila and feel nothing for Ashton, I get this match. They’ve been working together since she was 14-years-old, and he was allegedly her first tongue kiss (ok, it was on-screen, but still), so in a way it’s actually kind of sweet that they ended up together.

However, that is absolutely no excuse for this new news that has come out: Mila has agreed to do a guest spot on Two and a Half Men. Two and a Half Men was one of those shows that my mom loved and I was painfully indifferent to back when it starred Charlie Sheen. I mean, when Charlie was on it, it was KIND OF ok, but now that Ashton is on it it’s legitimately painful to watch, so Mila’s agreement to be on the show means one thing: homegirl is seriously dickmatized.

According to the press release from the show:

[Mila] will guest star as a young, beautiful, free-spirited world traveler who shows up on Walden’s doorstep (Walden is Kutcher’s character.) Walden feels an instant connection with her, convinced she’s ‘the one.’ The problem is, Walden was about to propose to someone else.

Mila is a successful actress with a great career so I’m not really sure why she’s guest starring on this shit that usually gets people with failing acting careers to do guest spots (remember when Miley did a guest spot?! Yeah, that bitch is never going to act again). The only thing that makes any sense is that it was in their engagement clause. Ashton was probably like: “I will marry you and continue providing you with quality dick if you do a guest spot on my painfully shitty show.” It was an offer the poor girl couldn’t refuse, I guess.