Michael Jackson’s Kids’ New Black ‘Mother’ Fails In Court
Then buzz it up
May 3rd, 2007 at 13:30 by Shawn Lindseth
It's obvious to the world who the father of Michael Jackson's children is - it's Michael Jackson. You can tell because they all have the same Burka-style headdress and, as hecklerspray's prize geneticists tell us, those things are 100% hereditary on the father's side.
Now in the rarer kind of DNA squabbles, it's the maternity of Michael Jackson's kids that's being called into question. Our geneticists tell us proving maternity is far less expensive than paternity because you don't need the microscopes, petri dishes or extremely expensive Michael Jackson sperm samples (currently going for gasoline-like prices, we're told).
To prove maternal claims all you have to do is remove the 'mother's' womb and wrap it around the child. If it's a perfect fit, clearly the child once lived in there - our laboratories call it 'The Cinderella Principle.' We don't get the reference.
A woman named Nona Paris Lola Jackson, who's not crazy at all, says she carried each of Jackson's children for the mandatory nine months, and that Debbie Rowe is an impostor.
They should totally do the womb test.
Nona Paris Lola Jackson, a self described "black Jew born in Britain," claims to be the Mother of Michael Jackson's white children. Michael Jackson, at least microscopically, is also black. Interesting.
The woman states her daring genetic claims are entirely true because she used to have very frequent access to Michael's genitalia and all related liquids, and she got knocked up in three of their thousands of bed-ridden encounters. She doesn't ask for much in the legal case she's tried to file. According to E! Online:
"The Jackson known as Nona is seeking… Well, she's seeking quite a bit, including Neverland Ranch, child support and shared custody of Michael Jackson's three children, Prince, 10, Paris, 9, and Prince II, better known as the balcony-dangled Blanket, 5."
Nona claims Jackson never ever slept with either of his ex-wives, but she and he boink all the time - and as recently as last October too, apparently. When she first filed the court documents last year in LA she explained herself:
"Michael and I are a sexually active couple and have been this way from the beginning."
The would-be mother also claims she's known Jackson since he was a teenager, and that she's written over 3,000 songs for him. All of which will appear on his next album, no doubt. The woman's lawsuit was thrown out last November, and it was again rejected 05/02/07. The judge didn't close the door on her, he just told her to get her legal junk together.
Michael's more recent ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, has called Jackson's paternity of the children into question in the past. As long as allegations are flying, hecklerspray wants you all to know we helped sire Jackson's giraffe, his Japanese fans, the entire jury he served with and all 69 of the other Michael Jacksons that banded together to sue the original.
This would have all come out sometime. We wanted to be the ones to tell you.
Read More:
More Rejection For Michael's Would-Be Baby Mama - African News Dimension
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May 3rd, 2007 at 3:32 pm
All this crap has gotten so ridiculous I don’t even care anymore. These stars aren’t people, they’re just objects of entertainment and obsession.
May 4th, 2007 at 7:33 am
CORRECTION: Debbie has categorically DENIED ever making the claim that Michael wasn’t the children’s biological father. She never even claimed that in their 2004-06 custody battle or when she was subpoenaed by the prosecution in his criminal trial.
The story originated from the News Of The World (yes a British tabloid, bastion of journalistic integrity) back in Jan 2004.
May 5th, 2007 at 12:13 am
You all are missing the point.
The point is that a maternity test
is required to prove that Michael
is the mother. Then we can have a paternity test
to determine the father. Sheesh. Get a clue!
May 10th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
He is NOT the father of those kids!!
All three kids have white parents.
He is NOT one of them.
No black man can have three white kids.
July 18th, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Please, leave Michael and his children alone. If he is not biological father of his children, he deserves more admiration and love for that because he cares
and loves children who they are not his. We know so much biological fathers that abandon their children. Michael is really a GREAT MAN.
November 4th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
That is obviously a lie black man (kinda) n a black woman cannot have 2 white babies
its lyk making a whole big deal outta nothing.U dont have to go to Court 4 dat.Its Obvioust dat shes lying.by da way MJ is a wanksta
December 23rd, 2007 at 7:55 pm
well…
my name is daniela…I’m michael jackson’s fans…and I think that michael jackson is the king of pop now and will always…
and I think that all that he do is good…he is not stupid…he know what cen do…
ok
I’m sorry for my engjilsh but I’m latin girl…
ok
bye
and I LOVE YOU MICHAEL JACKSON…
I will always be here for you…
kisses
*****************DANNY JACKSON*************************
February 4th, 2008 at 6:46 am
Your Caucasian society has done everything you can to discredit, disgrace, persecute & maligned Michael Jackson, every since he broke your White Beatles & Elvis Presley’s records. Congratulations, it has worked, all that it ever will work! And, in the end, we still love Michael & wish him and his family only the VERY, VERY BEST! Michael is no longer naive & knows who his true friends are now! He realizes that your white society needs to try & prove the Black man as inferior, especially when a Black man so obviously proves to be better than you are at anything. And, you will go to all lengths of ‘BS’ and deception to do so! If he is such a crazy, child-molesting, has-been, nobody, then why do you supposedly more ’superior’ individuals continue to follow, photograph & concern yourselves with what he does & what his kids look like? Sounds to me like you’re afraid, threatened, insecure, petty & Stupid!!!!! Get a LIFE!!!
February 4th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
true story - i once met a mad woman in a branch of Tesco who was on day release from whitchurch mental hospital. she claimed she was married to michael jackson & he’d be on his way over in his helecopter soon to pick her up for tea
mad tho she was, i’d put her way further down the mad scale of complete madness than michael jackson himself.
every time i can be bothered to remeber to do so, i pray that i will live long enough (and more to the point michael jackson will live long enough) to see the day when he’s a homeless crazy who lives in a dumpster & talks to his own shoes. i do not have the words to describe my contempt of this waste of carbon
February 7th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
michael jackson is gross ive watched a movie on him and ewwwwww is it GROSS.
either know safeasfuck is right lol
February 9th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
i love MJ
June 11th, 2008 at 7:36 am
Michael Jackson is a wonderful, loving, caring, and generous man. He is a gift from GOD to the world. He and his music mean so much to me. I wish him, his children, and his family many blessings.
July 18th, 2008 at 4:37 am
ALL THIS IS BULL SHIT! K-RAP! THIS IS JUST AS STUPID AS THEY SAY WHO MARILYN MANSON CHEATED ON DITA VON TEESE! DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO THIS SHIT!