Pete Doherty Attacks Photographer, Will Inevitably Avoid Jail
One of the things we're most regularly told about Pete Doherty by his fans is that he's a poet – which automatically excuses his appalling behaviour – and like all good poets, Pete Doherty likes nothing more than kicking young women.
It's been less than a week since Pete Doherty was arrested on what was thought to be his trillionth drug offence of the year, only to be told that he'd avoid jail because of a police cock-up. And how did Pete Doherty celebrate this fact? By baking a cake? By going to rehab and sticking to it? By washing under his fingernails for once in his sodding life? No – Pete Doherty apparently celebrated his escape from prison by spotting a female photographer, hurling stones at her, threatening to throw a bucket of saliva over her while slitting her mother's throat and then pulling her hair, smashing her camera and kicking her until an off-duty policeman restrained him. But it's OK, see, because Pete Doherty is a poet.
We're going to let you in on a little secret here – writing anything about Pete Doherty bores the living arse off us. Seriously, it's like writing lines at school. This is because, throughout the course of history, there have only ever been two Pete Doherty stories. One is the Pete Doherty Gets Arrested story, where Pete Doherty is stopped by police on what's usually suspicion of drugs possession and gets arrested, only to somehow avoid going to jail even though it's all he ever does. The second is the Pete Doherty And Kate Moss story, where Kate Moss splits up with Pete Doherty, then Pete Doherty somehow makes Kate take him back, then there's a marriage rumour and then Kate Moss splits up with Pete Doherty again.
Now, Pete Doherty Story Two looks dead in the water at the moment and, thanks to this week's drug arrest and subsequent let-off on a technicality, Pete Doherty Story One looks set to rumble on interminably. But wait! What's this? Is it? It can't be… it's Pete Doherty Story Three! Finally, Pete Doherty has broken out of his drug arrest/ Kate Moss spiral and done something brand new! Admittedly this brand new thing involves Pete Doherty reportedly battering a young female photographer without all that much provocation, but who cares about that?
22-year-old female photographer Cath Mead claims that Pete Doherty viciously beat her up yesterday after she dared to take a picture of him in Somerset. The Mirror reports:
When newsmen began asking questions he started hurling abuse and throwing stones. He snarled at one girl: "Do you want to shut up or I'll pour a bucket of saliva over you. I will smash your head in." … Horrified shoppers saw him run at Bristol-born Cath, 22, and chase her down the high street and into a music shop. He repeatedly slammed his boots into her thighs, pulled her hair, then smashed her lens into pieces on the pavement outside. Pete dashed back into the shop and tried to pull the camera off Cath. When the heavy strap came off he used it to lash her about the head, before being restrained by an off-duty policeman and a passer-by. He then strolled off and began playing his harmonica.
Cath Mead has since lodged a complaint with Somerset police, who are investigating the claim with a view to possibly arrest Pete Doherty for assault or, failing that, illegally busking for wanking around with an unlicensed mouth organ. It's a sad time and no mistake, though – not only does beating up a female photographer, if it's true, represent a brand-new low for Pete Doherty but also nobody can really make any more claims that he's a poet either. After all, Cath Mead claims that at one point Pete Doherty yelled "I'm going to slit your mother's throat!" at her – and then singularly failed to come up with an accompanying rhyme for it.
Now, if Pete Doherty had yelled "I'm going to slit your mother's throat/ And then I'll ride a billy goat" we could take him much more seriously as an artist.
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Let me be the first to say, Doherty has finally “over-egged his pudding”
(actually I stole that off my wife, but if you don’t tell her I won’t either.)
[...] Original source Deja un cotilleo [...]
“I’m going to slit your mother’s throat/ Skin her, and wear her like a coat”
“I’m going to slit your mother’s throat/ And when I’m aquitted, just gloat”
“I’m going to slit your mother’s throat/ Then, away on helium I’ll float”
ad infinitum… can I have Kate Moss’s phone number now?
“I’m going to slit your mother’s throat/ In a lovely petticoat”
Stop being so mean, he’s a poet…wait …actually he’s a waste of space dirty grimy wanker.
Well, really it’s understandable; I mean who would want to be seen in Somerset? Really? Good Lord, its full of worzels and fucking hippies for god’s sake…
“I’m going to slit your mother’s throat/ ’cause, it’s on you, Cath I doteâ€
Can I get off that DUI charge now that I’m a poet?
Internet Pedant’s poem is rather cool.. Perhaps Mr Dherty could be persuaded to set it to music? Apparently he’s a musician too, or maybe that’s just a rumour.
“It’s been less than a week since Pete Doherty was arrested on what was thought to be his trillionth drug offence of the year, only to be told that he’d avoid jail because of a police cock-up.”
Wrong. He avoided prosecution for breaking parole not doing drugs.
Bukowski loved kicking young girls.
Pete is clearly very gifted, and a great preformer. He is just out of control at the moment.
I dont think you people understand, just how relavent Pete Doherty is.
jesus… have you listened to his music at all, you tabloid fuck?
first of all this latest shit is probably barefaced SUN fallacy, second of all… yeah he’s a dick. he smokes crack. but he’s also made some beautiful stuff. not an excuse; it’s well your province to talk shit about him as a public figure, i do too– but don’t mouth off about babyshambles because they’re quite brilliant, at least as far as i, my sister and all our friends can tell. look up ezra pound (know who that is? stop blogging for five secons and read a fucking book) and tell me about poets overtaking their reputation with dickery. as pete himself says: i defy you all, you know twice as much as nothing at all. he’s still got that much on you.
hopefully he’ll get off drugs and apologize, if for nothing else at least for courtney love… good luck kicking a man while he’s down.
listen to ‘bollywood to battersea’ and tell me pete’s not a poet regardless of how much he embarrasses us all a human beings.
this is a load of crap!
It never even happened! never in his whole life has pete ever been charged with this! this is the first time i have read a story on this no other website mentions it and that cath girl has not made any other statements! surely if there was that many witnesses and if she had been brutally beaten that badly there would be no question he would be in jail!
Yous lot are a bunch of idiots all of yous!
+1 for “omg”
I wanted to post a commment but you said it all !