Imagine a version of Romeo And Juliet where, instead of tragically dying at the end, our heroes tragically stay alive only to tediously bicker in public until everyone just wishes they'd both shut up – that's Kate Moss and Pete Doherty.
The latest chapter in the story of Kate Moss and Pete Doherty is currently playing out before our weary eyes. Apparently Pete Doherty did it with a South African model recently and Kate Moss got all angry and has chucked out all of Pete Doherty's belongings and Pete Doherty now lives in a caravan or something. Although Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have had their ups and downs, this time the split looks final – or at least it would save for the soul-sapping inevitability of a Kate Moss/ Pete Doherty reconciliation by October, a thousand more tiresome wedding/pregnancy rumours by Christmas and then another split sometime in mid-2008. It's a bit like the circle of life, only with more arseholes.
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty seem to be suffering from the bouncing ball effect somewhat at the moment. Remember when Pete Doherty and Kate Moss first got together, and got the same sort of coverage in the press as if The Beatles reformed, cured cancer and stopped the ice caps from melting? And remember when Kate Moss and Pete Doherty split up for the first time and all you could see on the news was Pete Doherty's stupid big face banging on about how sad he was? Then remember when Kate Moss and Pete Doherty got back together again and nobody cared quite as much? Or when Kate Moss and Pete Doherty split up again, and people tried to look interested when they obviously weren't, like when someone shows you pictures of their baby?
Well guess what – Kate Moss and Pete Doherty have split up again. For good this time. Honestly. No really, Kate's chucked all of Pete's stuff – rumoured to be a book of 1950's prison slang, a handful of dirty needles and some of those dreadful blood pictures he makes – into a removal van and sent it to Hackney, where Pete is spending all of his non-caravan time. Hello reports:
Kate – who is understood to have hired security guards to keep her former boyfriend out of the house – has gone into hiding. She left her home in St John's Wood on Tuesday with several bags after returning from Paris… Shortly after Kate departed a van arrived and was loaded with Pete's belongings, including guitars, a piano, and a portrait of his former girlfriend. The contents were taken to a block of flats in Hackney, in London's East End. He has apparently been dividing his time between there and a caravan park in west London.
While obviously sad for Kate Moss, Pete Doherty and the three people around the world who actually care about either of their careers, the split has its benefits when seen from a different perspective – after all, there's nothing like being dumped by the love of your life to help you stay off the drugs and out of prison, is there? And also, this sort of means that there won't be any more of those terrible Kate Moss/ Pete Doherty YouTube videos, which is something.
But don't feel cheated because the split means you won't get to witness Kate Moss marrying Pete Doherty any more, because – as we've said – it's almost certain that the two of them will get back together before long. After all, last time all it took was for Pete to write on a windscreen to win Kate back, so we're fully expecting the two of them to make up again in a couple of weeks when Pete Doherty does a poo in the shape of a heart or whatever.
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Irina says
LOL!!!
Pete cheated on Kate???? No one saw that coming eh?
I would have paid to see that skinny old cockhead’s face when she found out!!