All Pamela Anderson wants from life is true love, preferably true love that ends after a couple of months and makes her look a bit foolish in retrospect.
And, God bless her, that's exactly what Pamela Anderson got with Rick Salomon – the man who she married, split up with, possibly got pregnant by, got back together with and is now seeking annulment from.
Now it turns out that Pamela Anderson has cited 'fraud' to end her marriage to Rick Salomon. Now, you should remember that there are only a limited number of grounds for annulment and Pamela Anderson probably checked the 'fraud' box not because she'd literally been defrauded, but because there wasn't a more accurate explanation available to her, like 'I'm an emotionally-backwards airhead dicksplat.'
The end of a marriage is never easy, even when you're as massively experienced as Pamela Anderson. She's been divorced twice already, you see, to Tommy Lee and Kid Rock, and the last thing anyone wants is to become a three-time divorcee. That must be why Pamela Anderson is making such a pig's ear of splitting up with husband number three Rick Salomon.
You'll remember, of course, that Pamela Anderson married Rick Salomon in October, then decided that she wanted to split up with him by December only to change her mind again a day later. It was all like Romeo And Juliet, really, but with none of the romance and the lead parts played by two idiots who fuck people on the internet for sport. And the ending wasn't quite as fun.
Anyway, yesterday the whole sorry mess came crashing to a definite close when Pamela Anderson chose to annul her marriage to Rick Salomon. Annulments are actually better than divorces, because it means technically you go back in time and the marriage never happened. You know, a bit like that thing you wished would happen after you saw Barb Wire for the first time.
But on what grounds did Pamela Anderson decide to get an annulment? Why, fraud of course. That's right, Pamela Anderson has decided to claim in her annulment papers that her whole marriage was a fraud from beginning to end. After all, that's what Renee Zellweger did, and she didn't look like an idiot, did she? Oh wait… The Boston Herald reports:
Serial bride Pamela Anderson has taken a page out of Renee Zellweger’s playbook and has filed for an annulment citing “fraud” to get rid of her hubby of four months, sex video peddler Rick Salomon. The former “Baywatch” babe – who married Paris Hilton’s sex-tape co-star in October, filed papers in Los Angeles Superior Court the other day to end their union for the third time in as many months. In this new filing, Anderson cited “fraud” as the reason for annulling the marriage as opposed to the “irreconcilable differences” she named in the two previous filings.
Fraud? Fraud? What on earth could be fraudulent about the Pamela Anderson/ Rick Salomon wedding? It certainly coundn't be their sex life, because anyone with a working internet connection and an empty stomach can quite easily see for themselves what Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon are like in bed. And, let's be fair, neither of them are exactly clever enough to be Lovejoy, are they?
But anyway, at least the marriage is almost over, which leaves Pamela Anderson free to move onto the next poor schmuck she'll inevitably marry before the year is out. Who will that be? Judging by her previous records, Pamela Anderson will be looking for a shit-haired rock star who enjoys having it off with people on the internet.
Gene Simmons must be terrified.
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gir says
Next up: Pamela Anderson Calls Her Entire Life A Fraud.
An indifferent world wonders what’s for dinner.
Gilbert Wham says
Cheeseburgers. With chorizo and home-made chips. Well, at my house anyway.
CJ luvs BJ's says
Sounds great, can i come around for tea? i’ll bring desert mmmmm.