Pamela Anderson now gets divorced with such tick-tock regularity that it's become almost reassuring – so when Pamela Anderson tries to work out the differences with her husbands instead of just ditching them, it's a bit weird.
No, it's worse than weird. It's wrong. Although it was reported yesterday that Pamela Anderson was ready to fulfil her duties as an out-of-touch celebrity bimbette by divorcing her most recent husband Rick Salomon after two months of happy marriage, the latest news is that perhaps Pamela Anderson won't get divorced after all. A post on Pamela Anderson's blog that worryingly reads "We're working things out…" has caused suspicions that she's already having second thoughts. So let's hope that Pam comes to her senses and completes her divorce soon, because we're pretty sure that a lasting Pamela Anderson marriage will upset the natural order of things and make the moon fall out of the sky and the seas boil.
Maybe – just maybe – Pamela Anderson's policy of only marrying men who dick women on the internet wasn't such a hot idea. Pamela's marriage to sex tape star Tommy Lee ended in divorce and Hepatitis, Pamela's marriage to sex tape star Kid Rock ended in divorce and a weird argument about Borat, and now it looks like Pamela Anderson's marriage to sex tape star Rick Salomon is about to end in divorce and – worst of all – non-divorce.
You'll remember that yesterday we reported that Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon had filed for divorce after just 73 days of marriage. It must have been a disappointing blow for Rick Salomon – not only had his marriage lasted for a full week less than the time it took Phileas Fogg to travel around the world, but it also meant that he'd miss out on next year's traditional MTV VMA Pamela Anderson husband-fight.
But maybe all that divorce talk was a bit premature. Even though divorce papers have been officially filed and everything's geared up for another routine divorce, Pamela Anderson has shaken things up on her blog by revealing that she is currently trying to talk out her differences with Rick Salomon in an effort to stay married. Pamela's blog – in its entirety – reads:
"We're working things out…"
Now, there's only a chance that this means Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon are trying to reconcile their differences. It's equally likely that Pamela Anderson was referring to the difficulty she's having helping her young son with his homework from the book Very Basic Mathematics For Children And Idiots. Or, you know, it could mean that this is just a great big publicity stunt to try and boost sales of her Pamela Anderson Comedy Central Roast DVDs. We just don't know.
However, if these supposed peace talks between Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon fall through, it looks likely that Pamela will make good on her promise to retire from public life completely in five years. And that means she only has five years left to marry and divorce everyone else in the world with a penchant for public nudity. Marcia Cross must be quaking in her pubes.