Do you remember the days when Michael Jackson was famous for singing songs and dancing like a one-legged man on a stormy ship instead of being famous for not molesting any boys and having to dish out all his money to lawyers a lot?
It seems like such a long time ago, but then Michael Jackson is getting so flipping good at being court-ordered to hand out gigantic wads of money to various lawyers that we really think he's found his calling in life. Most recently Michael Jackson has had to fork out $256,000 to a legal firm that have been awaiting payment from back when Michael Jackson was being found not guilty of getting kids blasted on Jesus Juice and then wanking them off. Obviously a sum like $256,000 has to come from somewhere, so there's a chance that Michael Jackson will have to amputate all his limbs and sell them to medical science to cover the cost. Well, we'd rather that than Michael Jackson releasing any more albums, anyway.
When you've been as successful as Michael Jackson has been, we'd imagine that your relationship with money gets a little bit warped. Sure, you can afford to buy all the giraffe-blood swimming pools that you want and you're never short of a brand-new female muslim outfit for when you want to go out shopping, but when people stop buying your records because of all the children you didn't molest, we'd expect that money becomes something close to your worst enemy.
Michael Jackson, you see, is never too far away from a lawsuit – be it from unpaid vets or unpaid Neverland workers or the mother of Michael Jackson's children or people that Michael Jackson has murdered – but now Michael Jackson is dipping his hand into his pocket with such regularity now that we're surprised he's got any money left at all. A month ago Michael Jackson settled a $48 million lawsuit out of court and now it's been revealed that Michael Jackson has been ordered to pay $256,000 in legal fees to his old lawyers, as CBS reports:
Michael Jackson has been told to pay more than $256,000 in legal fees to a firm that handled some side issues during his 2005 child molestation trial. A Superior Court judge signed a judgement Friday that awarded $216,837 along with $39,177 in interest to the Torrance firm of Ayscough & Marar, according to court records. Jackson's attorney, Marshall Brubacher, agreed in principle to the judgement June 26 when he told the judge that going to trial would be costlier and "we want to stop the hemorrhaging."
So, for once, it looks like Michael Jackson has made a smart financial move – and not only is the payout cheaper than a trial but it will also save Michael Jackson all sorts of negative press, too. And now all Michael Jackson has to deal with is the other nine billion lawsuits he's probably got lined up to bat away and he'll be in the clear for good. But let's not underestimate the amount of money that Michael Jackson has had to pay out here. Just to put things into perspective for you, to earn that $256,000 back, Michael Jackson will have to fly to Japan and shake the hands of 77 people. We don't know how that poor man can even afford to put food on the table, we really don't.
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joy lewis says
michal jackson rocks!
he da king of pop. and no body can bring that down , no matter how hard they try!
i love you michal!