Up until a week ago, Liz Hurley had managed 87 years without even getting married once, but by the end of today Liz Hurley will have racked up her third wedding – and this one's going to be conducted by some nicely-decorated elephants. We think.
All week Liz Hurley has been in India with new husband Arun Nayar celebrating their union in all manner of lavish ways, but today is the big one – it's the day that Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar are going to get married. Again. But in India this time. Anyway, hopefully this will be Liz Hurley's last wedding for a while, partly because Liz and Arun need to relax and experience the numerous joys of marriage, and partly because Liz Hurley isn't really that famous any more and we're tired of writing about her.
To the bulk of people, Liz Hurley will always be known as Hugh Grant's ex-girlfriend, and nothing either of them do can stop the public seeing them as a couple. It didn't change when Hugh Grant got sucked off by a whore, it didn't change when Liz Hurley possibly slept with Tom Sizemore and it certainly hasn't changed now, even though Liz Hurley has spent the last week marrying Arun Nayar over and over again like some kind of freaky obsessive compulsive.
Last Friday Liz Hurley married Arun Nayar in a vaguely secretive way in England before having a proper knees-up the following day with guests like Elton John, Kate Moss and Hugh Grant's special wedding monkey in attendance. Then, having ended all the wedding rumours – but not quite all the pregnancy rumours – Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar went to party down in India – the country that makes Liz Hurley vomit – where the couple rubbed turmeric over each other like a couple of mucky buggers and… oh, OK, we stopped paying attention to what they did after the first day in case we became so bored by it all that we stared stapling our eyelids to our lips again, so we don't know exactly what they actually got up to.
But it doesn't matter, because today is the only day that counts. Today is the day that Liz Hurley and Arun Nayar get married. Again. And it sounds like they've got a doozy of a party laid out, as Sky reports:
The nuptials, in the historic city of Jodphur, in India's desert state of Rajasthan, will wrap up a week of lavish celebrations. Hurley, 41, her 42-year-old groom, Indian businessman Arun Nayar, and their 240 guests are enjoying the kind of pageantry once reserved for maharajahs. Nayar will trot down the aisle astride a white horse, accompanied by intricately decorated elephants and camels. Hurley, dressed by Indian designer Rohit Bal, will join him to circle a holy fire as priests blow horns made out of conch shells and chant prayers.
Apparently Shilpa Shetty from Being Racially Abused On Celebrity Big Brother will be at Liz Hurley's wedding today, where she'll probably either be scouting for a boyfriend or looking for a British politician to fawn over her. Anyway, we're hoping that all the elephants and shell-blowing priests will convince Liz Hurley to stop getting married to the same man all the time now. After all, the last couple to do that were Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock, and just look how they turned out.
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Kippertron says
Conch. Heh.