That Jim Carrey, he's so funny isn't he? He always cracks us up – it doesn't matter if he's pulling stupid faces in any of his hilarious movies or hanging out with Tom Cruise a bunch of times all of a sudden or refusing outright to ever marry Jenny McCarthy.
Possibly sensing that his new movie The Number 23 looks like the biggest load of wank he's ever committed to screen – which is really saying something for a man who made The Majestic – Jim Carrey has decided to use The Number 23's promotional tour to shift focus away from the film and onto his personal life, namely how he's getting it on with new girlfriend Jenny McCarthy. Despite seeming happy in his new relationship, Jim Carrey is telling the world that he never wants to get married to Jenny McCarthy – a woman who was last seen on British TV fellating a bespectacled teddy bear – for one reason or another.
It's a well-known fact that 97% of all celebrity marriages fail, from Marilyn Manson to Matt LeBlanc to the Australian bit-part actress from Lost – and the remaining three percent have all probably got freaky contracts we're not supposed to know about. So in that respect it's probably very wise of Jim Carrey to admit that he doesn't ever want to marry Jenny McCarthy, if only we could shake the feeling that he was only saying it because shouting "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!" while doing a funny little jig would be a bit too obvious. But here's what Jim Carrey said, according to Fox:
"No, we're never getting married, but we're never getting divorced, which is fantastic," the 45-year-old actor says on Tuesday's edition of "Access Hollywood." Will he get her a ring at least? "I bought her a Chloe purse," he jokes. "Isn't that good enough?" Carrey and McCarthy, 34, went public with their romance last year. "She's just a wonderful lady and much deeper than she's ever received credit for, and I'm very excited about her future."
Yeah, anyone who can write a film about a woman waddling around a chemists dribbling vaginal blood onto the floor certainly sounds deep. We don't know how Jenny McCarthy feels about being publicly told that her boyfriend doesn't want to marry her – maybe she'll withhold the sextape-making as punishment – but they both have a lot of time to discuss the non-marriage since Jim Carrey couldn't get a film made to save his life at the moment. Sensing that there wasn't enough psychobabble in that last soundbite, Jim Carrey continued:
"I went through a lot of relationships that I believe were meant to define what I don't want in another person and in myself, and it refocused me on what I do want."
That'd be a blonde girl with big knockers, then. But wait a minute – Jim Carrey's trick worked. We're here happily discussing Jim Carry never marrying Jenny McCarthy and ignoring the fact that The Number 23 looks like a rancid bag of pigswill that only idiots will go and see. Damn you Carrey, damn you to hell.