Tom Cruise Up For Worst Actor At The Razzies
Tom Cruise – the tiny, couch-jumping, girl-proposing, sonogram-buying, piano handstand-pulling, Ritalin-hating Scientologist actor – looks set to win a handful of Razzies this year.
The nominations for The Razzies – the awards ceremony which applauds the very worst in film-making – have just been announced, and Tom Cruise is up for both Worst Actor, for his ‘Tom Cruise… but in jeans!’ role in War Of The Worlds; and also Most Tiresome Tabloid Target, an award must surely have in the bag.
The Razzies are a breath of fresh air in the suffocating fog of the
awards season. While everyone else is carping about what a wonderfully
delicate and meaningful statement of intent Brokeback Mountain is, The
Razzies are busy pointing at cock like Son Of The Mask and laughing
hard. Our kind of awards ceremony, in short.
And what would an awards ceremony that celebrates the worst in film
be without a few nods towards Tom Cruise (DVDs)? While Tom occasionally slips
up and makes a decent movie, like Collateral, his films are usually
dull-o stories of redemption by numbers. Just like War Of The Worlds,
for which he’s been nominated. Tom Cruise has also been nominated for a
new Razzies category, the Most Tiresome Tabloid Target, for his endless 2005 weirdness.
Apart from Tom Cruise, the other victims of the Razzies panel
include Jenny McCarthy, who wrote and starred in Dirty Love, a comedy
which includes scenes of a man sticking a fish up his arse and a woman
walking around a shop dribbling menstrual blood everywhere. McCarthy is up for Worst
Actress, Worst Screenplay and Worst Film, while co-star Carmen Electra
has received a Worst Supporting Actress nod.
Other worthy nominees include Will Ferrell, who is up for Worst
Actor for Kicking And Screaming and Bewitched, The Rock for Worst Actor
for his role in Doom and Paris Hilton, who has received a Worst
Supporting Actress nod for House Of Wax.
However, The Razzies this year look set to be a two-horse race, and
those two horses are Dukes Of Hazzard and Son Of The Mask. Dukes Of
Hazzard has gained nominations for Worst Screenplay, Worst Film, Worst
Remake Or Sequel, Worst Supporting Actress (Jessica Simpson), Worst
Onscreen Couple (Jessica Simpson and her tits), Worst Director (Jay
Chandrasekhar) and Worst Supporting Actor (Burt Reynolds).
Son Of The Mask, on the other hand, has picked up nominations for
Worst Picture, Worst Actor (Jamie Kennedy), Worst Supporting Actor (Bob
Hoskins and Alan Cumming), Worst Onscreen Couple (Jamie Kennedy and
anyone stuck sharing a screen with him), Worst Remake Or Sequel, Worst
Director (Lawrence Gutterman) and Worst Screenplay.
It looks like The Razzies will be a close-run thing. But, as our old Mum used
to say – they’ve got this far, so they’re all winners. Or losers.
Whichever one is more applicable.
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[story by Stuart Heritage]
