Different people have different breaking points; the moment when they'd, say, angrily fling a computer off a 30ft balcony onto a nonagenarian in a wheelchair, but it's safe to say that Denise Richards knows where her breaking point is.
Because that's exactly what Denise Richards did last week – after some run-of-the-mill goading by members of the paparazzi during the shooting of her new movie, Denise Richards crouched into a ball and started sparking with electricity like Blanka from Street Fighter II, then – with her muscles tearing through her puny human clothes – picked up the paparazzo's laptop and chucked it over a balcony, where it sort of grazed an old woman on the arm a bit. Or something. And, as if being widely regarded as the single most ridiculous person on the planet at the moment wasn't enough for Denise Richards, now the photographers whose laptop Denise lobbed are reportedly planning to sue her.
Denise Richards probably won't be looking back on 2006 with a great deal of affection. For the most part, the last decade of Denise Richards' life has mainly involved grinning, arching her back slightly to make her boobs look bigger and nothing else, but when 2006 hit, it hit hard. If all the rampant self-justification from Denise Richards during her kiddie porn and dead prostitutes divorce from Charlie Sheen didn't bring her squarely to the public eye, then they way Denise Richards quickly shacked up with one of Bon Jovi even though he'd only just divorced Heather Locklear who was supposed to be her best friend did.
However, just as soon as that all died down and she and Charlie Sheen decided to be nice to each other, Denise Richards is flung back into the spotlight for going mental at a photographer and flinging his laptop off a balcony at an old lady. It was a story that brushed all the cultural touchstones of 2006; girls with big boobs, the paparazzi, laptops, old ladies in wheelchairs, the Canadian Mounted Police Force… you name it. But the story didn't end there; although the old women who got bashed up by the flying laptop don't want to press criminal charges, E! Online reports that Rik Fedyck and Scott Cosman – the paparazzi involved – are planning to sue Denise Richards:
"I've hired a lawyer for a civil suit," Canadian photographer Rik Fedyck told the Vancouver Sun. "The suit is about damage to the computers, assault to myself." … "I was not taking the photos," Fedyck told the paper. "I was watching." "We've lost time. We've lost money. We've lost equipment," Cosman said, neglecting to mention that the duo had already been reimbursed $13,000 by the film's production company for damage to their computers. "In the public eye, we're being made to look like monsters…I just wish she'd just come clean and say she made a big mistake and say sorry."
To be semi-fair to Denise Richards, that's exactly what she's done, albeit in a roundabout way on television. Denise told Access Hollywood:
"I am not justifying my behaviour. I saw one of the photographers, went up to him and offered to give him a few nice shots and asked him to please leave so we can focus on our scene. He wouldn't, and he got really belligerent, and he was saying vulgar, nasty things to me and made a derogatory remark about my family. I just did what I did and I feel terrible."
Fedyck and Cosman, on the other hand, say that they saw Denise Richards and the co-star in her new movie Pamela Anderson having an argument about who leaked details of Pamela's recent miscarriage to the press, and that's what started Denise's tantrum. There's only one way to settle this – it's off to Pamela Anderson's blog. In the past, Pamela Anderson's blog has helped us discover that Pamela Anderson was getting married and that she was getting married to the same man again shortly afterwards, so what can Pamela Anderson's blog tell us about Denise Richards going mental on a photographer's laptop? Well, this:
Can't believe set is surrounded by loser paparazzi – not Canadian – all American and European… Leave us alone!!! They are being super idiots!!! Yelling rude stuff. They need to really go home! What is the big deal? All these big hairy men attacking us girls. A-holes!!! … This is Canada – it can't be Canadians. Paparazzi were shouting out "no wonder you can't keep a relationship together" to Denise. Something happened and computers fell over the edge. Thank god no one was hurt. It bounced off floor and pieces went everywhere, from what I hear. I didn't see it… If it were me I would've thrown the photographers over the edge- they got lucky.
We're taking this as the stone cold gospel truth. Even though Pamela Anderson wasn't actually there to see any of it and the photographers in question were Canadian even though Pamela Anderson says they weren't, we're still taking it as the truth. and isn't that what really counts?
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