The New Year can be a time of reflection and introspection, a time to think deeply about the things which have happened to us over the past year. A time to slow down and think about bettering ourselves and how we can just generally making the world a nicer place.
We don't, obviously. We just use the festive season to build up our bile ducts for the next 12 months by drinking far too much and making regrettable decisions, but other people apparently try.
Cheryl Cole has taken a third route and gone all Howard Beale on everyone's asses and she just ain't going to take this anymore. Although she's not going to do anything about it, like. So we can probably carry on as before.
To be fair, she has gone through a fair amount this year – the divorce (which anyone with a working frontal lobe and an instinctive aversion to second hand STDs from orange girls in Essex nightclubs could have seen coming), the dodgy X-factor decisions that were only made to enrage the entire nation into hating anybody or anything that even looked remotely like her, joining the ranks of the 250 million cases of?malaria each year (doesn’t seem so special now, does it?), the miming ?controversy?, and on top of it all, she had a televised chat with a man who looks like a slowly drying terry towel that someone has sprinkled rabbit droppings over.
And now she's mad. Mad enough for DigitalSpy to asterisk out some of the naughty words:
“I am not taking this s**t anymore. I’ve been through too much. I have had enough. There’s only so much you can cope with and then you either allow it to swallow you up or you say, ‘Sod this. I have had it with negativity and bitchiness’. “I want people to like my music but I couldn’t give a s**t about what they think of me. Take it or leave it. I do not care.
we're guessing that she's had a bad experience with a particularly nitpicky tailor, and is complaining about the low-quality repairs to her suits she's been palmed off with.
The second starred out word is obviously ?soot?, the most precious commodity known to a Geordie.
On a more positive note though, no matter what the missing words are she is officially Not Caring about what people write about her.
This is excellent news for everyone.
This year you can all look forward to us producing an increasing number of completely made-up stories which relate to her as yet unknown lesbian relationships, her embezzlement of funds for orphanages in order to build a giant statue made of rice paper and uncut diamonds and her intricate and powerful links to the lizard people living under Zurich. And those rumours about every last one of Girls Aloud being prostitutes of course.
She's fine with all that, just don't print any pictures of her not looking at her best, apparently she'doesn’t?like that, and tends not to:
?….look at pictures of myself. I can’t.”
So we?ll be fine, as long as the byline picture is flattering.
Oh, apparently we don't have one of those.
Sorry.
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KaleMeh says
ahh…poor Cheryl….I know she had malaria and all…and that she’s human with human emotions… but she’s human with human emotions AND like 100 million in the bank…so…yeah…i’d take her tough year for that type of money…