It’s ludicrous that people watch The X Factor and expect to see a singing contest. It has been on television long enough for everyone to know exactly what it is all about – and that’s putting bums on sofas in front of the television. No more, no less. It’s as music based as WWE is a sport.
So berating it for anything is pointless and frankly boring. Yet that doesn’t stop some of you lot from being up-in-arms about the whole thing. Some people are in a constant state of outrage over the show. Some people won’t be happy ’til the show features nothing but dismal indie band who don’t mime and write their own rubbish songs.
And so, the faux-despair continues as people point at Wagner and demand some imagined fairness and stomp their pathetic, tantrummy feet about Cheryl Cole’s miming.
That’s right. People are glaring at Wagner Carrilho because he just won’t leave the show. Facebook campaigns have kicked off as ironists feel the need to keep the kooky Brazilian on the programme. Presumably, this means drumming up support in the hope that people will phone-in and cast their vote to really stick it to Simon Cowell!
YEAH! That’ll show him won’t it? Generating all that cash through an expensive voting system which goes straight into Simon Cowell’s pocket and encourages the belief that ITV should give him increasingly more lucrative contracts to stay on air!
Oh.
And some of these ridiculous Facebook groups are looking at this Wagner campaign in the same light as the stupid Rage Against the Machine campaign last year, which showed that the most pious and piddly people in Britain are the dregs of the indie disco dancefloor who have a point to prove… they’re just not quite sure what it is.
Naturally, there are some that really don’t get Wagner and want The X Factor to be some kind of fair talent show like we saw in an imagined golden period of ’70s light-entertainment. Not that the Clap-O-Meter was rigged in anyway. Nope. Not one bit.
Yet these people are angry that the nice John Adeleye was voted out of the competition and Wagner remained. At least Adeleye won’t be embarrassed when he gets back to work because his patients won’t even remember who he is (much like the rest of us in 6 months time).
Of course, it’ll be hard to forget Wagner’s incredible rendition of ‘Love Shack’ and ‘Living the Vida Loca’.
The real point here is that Wagner’s novelty factor won’t last forever and there’s already a palpable sense that people are tiring of the joke now. At least his continued existence gives us all the chance to picture him bearing down on Tesco Mary with an amorous look in his eye and an erection barely concealed by a grotty leopard print silk effect thong.
But at least he sings live, right?
Apparently, there’s more outrage surrounding the show about Cheryl Cole’s performance over the weekend. SHE MIMED! SHE MIMED! OH MY GOODNESS! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! HOW COULD SHE DO SUCH A THING?!
Miming has been a staple in the pop world for as long as it has been around. The Beatles have mimed on TV shows in the ’60s and millions of supposedly credible bands have mimed their way through countless Top of the Pops performances from year dot to its death.
Yet, for some reason, Cheryl Cole isn’t allowed to when performing on The X Factor.
And the most delicious irony in all this is that The X Factor machinery has realised that it can just as easily thrive on the negative energy thrown toward it. Like a self-destructive teenager, it owns a neediness that knows no bounds. There was a time when it genuinely wanted to create a new singing sensation… now it just wants your attention.
So, to all those outraged by whatever. Well done you. You keep The X Factor the oxygen it needs to live and those of us who take it for what it is – a really weird TV show – can continue to make stupid jokes on Twitter and arbitrarily pick contestants to kinda fancy.
hoohaahee says
Cheryl Cole is a talentless chav. If she didn’t look nice, she’d still be living on a dreary housing estate.
“because yoar wooorth eit”.
magnetite says
Can I hate the X-Factor for the following hopefully serious reason?
The more popular it is – whether it be with the dimwits who actually believe it is an entertaining television programme, or those who enjoy it ironically – the more the companies advertising in the many long breaks within it have to pay for their airtime and consequently (to recoup the money they spent on said advertisements) put up the prices of either the advertised product or some other within their brand stable.
So the more of you who watch this tripe the more I have to pay for things in the shops.
I hate you all equally. You can, if you wish, placate me by buying and then giving to me various household goods, haircare products and feminine creams. Thank you in advance.
Ian Johnson says
My family love the X Factor and, generally speaking, it’s the only thing worth watching at Weekends nowadays. Yes, it is highly scripted but that is what makes it a success. It is created like a drama series with deliberate conflict, heroes and antagonists and a rag to riches theme. If Matt and Rebecca’s voices have not, as sometimes is alleged, been electronically altered, I would definitely pay to go and see them.
Linda Secrets says
I love Wagner, he keeps the show interesting.
Yeah X Factor is getting a bit boring now but the auditions are still fun and its something to watch casually when you’re in on a Saturday night. If it went, I would miss it.