The tenth anniversary of Princess Diana's death is being marked in two ways: a) a concert where Rod Stewart will sing and b) a documentary explicitly showing her body mangled in a car crash – no, we don't know which is more tasteless either.
But let's focus on the latter, because that's what everyone's making such a fuss about. Tonight Channel 4 will broadcast a documentary called Diana: The Witness In The Tunnel which, as far as we've been able to tell, is an hour-long montage of ever-more graphic photographs of Princess Diana dying horribly in a mangled car in a Paris tunnel, set to music by Mogwai, Radiohead and the sounds of distant echoed cackling, sinister children singing nursery rhymes and loops of fairground music played backwards.
Princes William and Harry have been urging Channel 4 not to show the Princess Diana documentary – but Channel 4 has ignored them, relishing the chance to broadcast an actual car crash instead of just hours and hours of car crash TV like Big Brother for a change.
Unless you read The Daily Express – which has exclusively featured stories about Princess Diana's memorial fountain on its front page every day for eight years now – most people probably haven't thought about Princess Diana for as long as they can remember. That's because, in the big scheme of things, a posh woman dying in a car crash isn't really all that important.
Not that it seemed that way a decade ago, though – back then Elton John was trying to bash up the syntax of Candle In The Wind enough to fit in the line "you called out to our country," people would fight you in the street if you didn't look appropriately bereaved and everyone bought so many flowers that a single rose briefly cost more than three brand new imported sports cars. But now it's the tenth anniversary of Princess Diana's death, so it's time to rake all that up again.
First there's the Joss Stone-starring Princess Diana memorial concert taking place in London next month, which will no doubt be attended by thousands of people who couldn't get Live Earth tickets. It's where George Michael will remember the time Princess Diana wanted to have sex with him and David Hasselhoff will try to remember the time Princess Diana wanted to have sex with him before giving up, taking his shirt off and attempting to eat another burger off the floor.
But Channel 4 plans to mark the death of Princess Diana in a different way – by showing graphic pictures of her almost dead in a car crash during a documentary tonight. Diana: The Witness In The Tunnel is about… actually, we don't know what Diana: The Witness In The Tunnel is about, because everyone's been too busy shrieking about how disgusting it is to see The People's Princess smeared across the inside of a car on TV. Even Princess Diana's sons, Little Lord Tittygrope and Prince Lady-Dumper, have asked Channel 4 to remove the crash photos. But Channel 4 has refused, as ITV reports:
Channel 4 will broadcast graphic images of the crash which killed Princess Diana despite a plea by Prince William and Prince Harry. Diana: The Witnesses in the Tunnel, which will be broadcast on June 6, includes the first public airing of images taken by French paparazzi immediately after the Paris collision in 1997. The programme, made by ITN Factual, reportedly shows one picture of Diana receiving oxygen from a French doctor and other explicit images of the interior of her car.
Gruesome stuff and – thanks to the princes getting involved – a show that hardly anyone would watch because it's yet another Princess Diana documentary that clashes with The Apprentice and My Cousin Vinny has become must-watch television, as all kinds of middle-class households plan to tune in to get a gauge of exactly how outraged they need to be tomorrow morning.
We haven't seen Diana: Princess In The Tunnel yet, but we're a little bit uneasy about seeing these car crash pictures of Princess Diana. Not because they're of Princess Diana dying in the wreckage of a car, but because they're of anyone dying in the wreckage of car. Surely it'd be better to remember Princess Diana the way she would have wanted – as a manipulative, somewhat deranged bulimic woman who had it off with a bunch of men when she was married to someone else.
Read more:
Princes' Plea Over Diana Documentary – ITV
ANTHONY.Wayne.Schembri says
To all the people in the UK,as well as the rest of the world,If the truth ever comes out about the real events that occured that dark wet night in Paris night in that tunnel ,which some members of the paparazzi,took photos,during and straight after the smash that killed your Princess,have no doubt have been buried deep,to protect the people responsable for this unfortunate,and totally,aviodable staged crash,and how come the car that sideswiped that 4 ton bullit proof merc was ignored?either you pommes are as dumb as Lois Lane or belive the French,and thier investigation,Dodies dad is right ,and if this is proven,god help your monarchy,because no one else will,also there was people on that bridge at that time I think if you find them you will find the car that sideswiped the merc in the tunnel(yanks call that kind of sideswipe the pit manouver) come on you pommes are quite clever find out who is giving you the most resisatace in the investigation and you will find the answers that you seek if you dare,I was not a fan of the late Princess,but Her royal highness Princess of Wales does deserve JUSTICE and the truth revealed god bless her
ANTHONY.Wayne.Schembri says
yes show it all
fred marks - US says
Don’t Go to fight Harry! http://www.DontGoPrinceHarry.com
Jalipel says
That’s the extent of the country’s outrage? Bit rubbish, innit?
Bob says
If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. There are more important concerns in the world than this. Who cares?
Tom Bellwood says
Conspiracy theories are for those who can’t handle the truth. The driver was drunk and up to his eyeballs on drugs. This went unnoticed then he went and drove a very high powered car at ludicrous speeds through Paris with disastrous results. Mohammed Al-Fayed can’t live with the thought of one of his staff killing his son so has made it his life’s work to perpetuate what are nothing more than myths. This, coming from a man who has been denied UK citizenship on numerous occasions. Axe to grind? I think so.
Leave the woman in peace.
Diana says
Prince Philip did it…
mythili says
prince philip u did it
JMTaylor says
What on earth is this rant about? Tenner to the 1st person who tells me.
jessica says
how can you people talk about princess diana of wales like this. you should all be very very asshamed of this kind of talk. you dont know the kind of stuff she went through. so if you dont want to hear or read about her or dont want to talk about her than stop looking her and the royal family up and let us people who miss and adore her, and adore the people in her lifetime and the royal family to enjoy reading about her without all of you making disrespectful and distasteful comments. back off and knock it off.